Just hold this for me for a moment would you?…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s featured vegetable is the taciturn, stolid, and dour looking sweet potato.

Things that you might be embarrassed to be seen carrying around in your town centre:
(All items in the list would be in plain sight, not wrapped up, nor hidden away in bags or boxes.)

A toilet seat.
A banjo.
A pig’s head with an apple in its mouth.
The propeller off a Sopwith Camel biplane. (SC)
A stuffed animal, perhaps a leaping antelope or a grinning crocodile.
An assault rifle, unless you happen to live in certain towns in the US. (AR)
A bucket of sloppy offal.
An armful of Barry Manilow vinyl LPs. (BM)
A six-foot long cardboard box with ‘Head This End’ printed on it.
The back half of a pantomime horse costume. (PH)
A bullwhip.
A very wide and colourful sombrero. (S)
An open bottle of whisky or gin.
A life-size cut-out figure of Darth Vader.
A dozen white footballs in a string bag.
A flickering lantern dangling from the end of a long length of floppy bamboo.
One of the front wheels off a Volkswagen camper van.
A large tangle of police ‘Do Not Enter – Crime Scene’ tape.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in cool, drama, dreaming, Dulltown, existentialism, humour, information, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Just hold this for me for a moment would you?…

  1. I adore sweet potato 🙂 Also – I would not be embarrassed at all carrying a banjo. Barry Manilow LP’s, yes that would be awkward (although vinyl these days is considered quite cool and “retro”) Mind you it would be interesting to hear the excuses people came up with for carrying such items, y’know, if they were confronted. 😀 (This could be quite a fun challenge actually)

  2. Reminds me of when, about 35 years ago, on a trip to London, my suitcase broke itself (long story) and I had to buy another one asap or carry my clothes around in a plastic garbage bag for the next two weeks. Immediate purchase required since I needed it for leaving the next day. I bought a nice large one at Harrod’s summer sale and walked it through the streets back to the hotel. On its leash and rolling it on its tiny wheels. Very satisfied with myself. Pretty much everyone stared at me along the way. I am sure they were envious. So that’s the opposite of embarrassment, though now I think people were embarrassed for me, since I didn’t seem to have sense to be embarrassed myself, but really, it was a NICE suitcase. It’s all a tangle, this life, isn’t it? Loved this post.

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