Banking architecture in Halifax, Yorkshire…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s tasks are: to learn to play the zither, and to learn to crochet.

DSCN4192Halifax is a very pleasant and friendly Yorkshire town; I had a day out there a few months ago, just to have a look around, to sit in a couple of cafes, visit the interesting guitar shops, and see some art in the galleries at the great Dean Clough Mills. The art was, I’m sorry to say, a bit ‘middle of the road’ and rather disappointing, however I did like Halifax and its people… but…
I snapped this picture in the town centre – no no, dear reader, I wasn’t impressed by this building, in fact I was shocked by its unpleasantness.
Look out, the rest of this post will be a short, but vicious rant about it.
So, what kind of organisation would want their building to look like this? Ah, yes, of course – it’s a bank!… Lloyd’s Banking Group Halifax.
It has the feel of a medieval fortress, but lacking the arrow slits (unless they are very well hidden); you imagine that upper part, behind its reflective (don’t you dare to try to look in!) windows, to be packed with boxes of banknotes, ingots, and barrels of loose change, floor to ceiling, well away from, and raised above, the general public, the forelock-tugging serfs, miserably trudging about in the rain below.
Nobody can get our money! No, you are wrong, it’s not your money you riff-raff, it’s ours!
See how high it is, sticking out above the heads of the passers-by; you could imagine, in times of financial stress, someone inside could press a big red button and the whole thing would grunt and raise itself up on its great squat legs another ten feet, just to be extra extra safe.
Look at that triangular concrete prism thing on the left – it looks like a WWII tank trap – it is of course saying, We don’t want you in here, keep out! No, you can’t sit on this and eat your lunch… And look at the great chamfered concrete slab that the whole upper structure sits on – it must be ten feet thick! You can feel the oppressive dead weight of it from all the way across town. Perhaps in times of really dire financial stress, instead of the thing rising up as I suggested earlier, perhaps the bank quickly transfers all the cash to the basement, blows off the top glass structure like Star Trek’s USS Enterprise discarding its disc, and the whole shebang grinds and descends slowly into the ground forming an impenetrable bunker full of money and mean-faced bankers with the great slab as a bomb proof lid?… Eat your heart out Albert Speer!…
Well, I think that’s enough about this ugly brutish thing for today, don’t you?…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in architecture, art, brain, cafe, design, Grumpiness, humour, information, money, observations, photography, seeing, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Banking architecture in Halifax, Yorkshire…

  1. That was a first class rant, Dave. Well done!

  2. Well, just before I read the rest of your post, I had to google what a zither was. I also looked on Youtube for a few examples of how it was played. Now I want one. As in I REALLY DO want one. Such a beautiful sound! Anyway, to the post….I went to Halifax several times when I was very very young and all I can recall of it were the huge cooling towers. Now for your bank photo, well… first thought was it would be a good zombie hideaway, for when the world ends and we need somewhere to hide. Then I thought “I can’t believe someone got paid to plan and build that thing!” Its horrific, ghastly, and I hope it does actually get up and slink off in shame. 😀

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Learning to crochet is over-rated. While many things can be created….most end up as some version of an afghan!

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