A few short but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s random dictionary words are: couchee, cotyledon, coucal, cotyle, coulisse, coumarin, and bum-boat.
Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Should the professor turn up in the garb of one of The Three Musketeers, you must not remark on, draw attention to this, or allow it to distract you from your studies.

Excuses for being late. No. 302.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to go and feed my neighbour’s gila monster. (GM)

A single overheard remark: (Drunken man in shopping centre.)
‘I like a ladder!… I don’t like cobwebs!…’

As I walked through the department store heading for the cafe with a couple of friends there was a sign advertising some merchandise for sale – it said, Yankee Candle Scenterpiece Easy Meltcup Warmer. My, that really has quite a ring and a rhythm to it!…
Come on let’s all chant it together!… Yankee Candle scenterpiece easy meltcup warmer, Yankee Candle scenterpiece easy meltcup warmer, Yankee Can… Come on! You’re not trying! Let’s dance as we go!… Yankee Candle scenterpeice easy meltcup warmer, Yankee Candle scenterpiece…

Well, who would have thought it?
A few weeks ago I showed you a photograph of mine snapped from the top deck of a bus in the Dulltown Interchange; the picture featured one of the sliding glass doors which give access to the concourse; it had a large white figure ‘8’ on it, only the ‘8’ had been, in true Dulltown style, stuck on upside down – I said that if this minor error was ever corrected I would get straight back to you. Well, you’ll pleased to hear that the ‘8’ has been either carefully peeled off, rotated and stuck back on, or replaced with a brand new one correctly oriented. Gosh, I am surprised, I thought it would be upside down for ever… (Click here to see the original photograph)

Yesterday there was a large cloud hanging stationary over the city centre that was shaped just like the Starship Enterprise.

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Tiffany Lamp.

‘Thyme-za buskum?’
‘Thyme-za buskum, thyme-za buskum!?’
‘No, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t understand…’
‘Alright, be like that!… Would you mind, telling me, what time the bus, will come?’
‘Ah, right, there’s one in about five minutes…

Yes gentlemen, I know that it is summer here in the northern hemisphere, and that a pair of shorts is an item of apparel well suited for this clement weather. But there is one important thing that a chap of style should know concerning shorts. The prevailing trend is for this garment to terminate a few inches below the knee, and that it is often worn with a long t-shirt which terminates well below the waist. Unless one is unusually tall and an actual South Sea Island beachcomber, one should avoid this combination, as it makes you look as if you have very, very short legs, and rather like a little boy who has borrowed his big brother’s clothes…

An overheard snatch of conversation:
‘Square chickens?’
‘No, square stuffing…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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5 Responses to A few short but pithy items…

  1. I had to look up what a bum boat was, as it sounded quite rude, and I’m pleased that it is an actual functioning boat used to transport supplies from shore to a ship moored somewhere off shore. The Yankee Candle song had me giggling like a loony! Ah now bus time requests…well up here there are those that ask things like “yewaitin’ferabusss?” (there is no other reason to why someone might be standing at a bus stop, but they do ask) to which the reply could be “aye, wan due the noo” which is quite poetic don’t you think? Also shorts….now I don’t care what kind of shorts or t shirts a man wears, so long as he doesn’t wear socks with sandals. That is an absolute no-no….. πŸ˜€

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Yes, bum-boat, definitely not to be mentioned in mixed company – what is ‘mixed company’…?
      “Wan due the noo?” Love it!…
      Now then, shorts… with bare legs, what is the rule for socks? Me, I always wear my converse boots (black and white) with visible white woolly socks, like tennis players used to have – don’t like no socks or non-visible ‘trainer socks’ – it always looks like you can’t afford socks!…

      • Hahaha! Mixed company, well….in today’s incredibly PC world, should the term even apply? All are one, and one is all, apparently…..Anyway, socks….well, given that you wear converse (excellent choice of footwear, if I may say so. I have a green pair, and also a cherry red pair of DM’s) your white socks are allowed, because boots and shoes chafe on the skin, and socks are always advised. Regardless of type. Sandals on the other hand, are designed to be worn against skin, so are of a softer material. Socks with sandals just looks like you can’t afford shoes, and should be wearing a knotted hankie atop your head on somewhere like Brighton Beach! πŸ˜€

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Sandals… no, I can’t think of anyone who looked good in sandals, oh, maybe Gandhi, Jesus, Cleopatra, etc… But certainly not Europeans…
        When we were kids we called Converse All-Star type footwear ‘Baseball boots’, but of course they weren’t, they were basketball boots. Did you know that they were first sold in 1917! Amazing!…

      • Oh but wait, sandals have come a long way since Ghandi wore them. They still don’t suit socks though πŸ™‚ And no, I didn’t know that about Converse, that is so interesting, thanks!

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