Shall we talk about socks?…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s existential angst is centred around the sound of the word ‘meringue’.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

‘I’ve recently been pondering on socks…’
‘Socks?…’
‘Hm…’
‘Good for you!’
‘It’s a far deeper subject than you might at first think.’
‘Is it really?’
‘Yes.’
‘All socks, or a pair of socks in particular?’
‘Well, the whole world of socks as a backdrop to my thoughts, but with Marks & Spencer’s summer socks, men’s ones, up front, in the foreground.’
‘Oh, right…’
‘They are more cleverly thought out than one might think.’
‘What is it that one might think?’
‘Well, one might think that they could be all one colour, say black…’
‘Black…’
‘Yes, or any other colour that you could think of…’
‘Of course… So, in your thoughts, all of the socks are black?’
‘No, you are not quite getting it are you? You’d think that all of the material of an individual sock would be black.’
‘If it was a black sock, then yes, I see…’
‘Ah, but do you? These ones of mine are black, but they have a chromatic component.’
‘A what?…’
‘They have coloured toe-ends and heels, they come in multiple packs for thrift and continuity, each pair black, but with a different coloured toe-end and heel!’
‘I see… Gosh, is that the time!’
‘No it isn’t – and when you wear them, and you have your shoes on, the colours are not even seen!’
‘That’s astounding!’
‘Do I detect a note of sarcasm in your tone my dear friend?… So, I was pondering on why they would bother to colour the toes and heels when they are ultimately not visible.’
‘Ultimately?… Well, it’s obvious, it’s because…’
‘Keep quiet and let me explain, you see, different pairs of your socks have different coloured parts so that you can sort them easily into pairs in your washing.’
‘That’s just what I was about to say, but…’
‘Shush!… But also it helps when putting them on when you are bleary in the mornings, you want to know which end is which, and very importantly, the orientation of the heel, it’s awful when you get the heel up on the side of your foot, isn’t it?
‘Yes, awful… Now, fascinating though this is, I really must be off, I have to help a friend bathe his St Bernard dog.’
‘No no, sit down, there’s more. Shall I pull the side of my shoe away slightly? You might able to observe the colour of my heel if you lean forward – see, it’s a pale blue one today.’
‘No no, I’ll take your word for it.’
‘I’ll bet you are wondering if these very smart black socks I’m wearing are in fact a matching pair, or whether the heels and toes are in fact at odds with symmetry.’
‘No, I’m not. Look, my bus goes in five minutes, I’ve left an egg in the oven, I’d better be going…’
‘So, the beauty of it is, that those clever designers at M&S, whether you are a fastidious sort of cove…’
‘Cove?’
‘Yes, or, on the other hand, a slovenly fellow, one who doesn’t mind wearing socks that lack an internal chromatic symmetry, you still get the benefit of the…’
‘Look, out the window! Someone carrying a Christmas tree, and it’s only September!’
‘Listen, I know that you refused to look into my shoe just now, but I must tell you that when it comes to the wearing of socks I am something of a rebel…’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes, I’m am wearing one sock with a blue heel and toe, and the other sock has a magenta heel and toe, but no one would suspect it!’
‘Oh look, there’s a polar bear getting on that number 66 bus outside Primark.’
‘You seem to be dismissing my interesting anecdote out of hand my dear friend.’
‘It wasn’t an anecdote, and also it wasn’t… By the way, did you know that Albert Einstein never wore socks?’
‘What!…’

Link.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, colours, conversation, design, drama, dreaming, existentialism, fashion, humour, information, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Shall we talk about socks?…

  1. “Gosh is that the time?”
    “No it isn’t”
    (That was very funny!)
    Well, odd socks indeed – I have been known to throw on any socks upon my feet, matching or not, because as you say, nobody sees them. Unless you are unfortunate enough to faint in the street or something and the emergency services have to remove your shoes. Colourful socks are nice and cheery, as are the ones that say “Right & Left” or have the days of the weeks on them. Very organised. šŸ˜€

    • Dave Whatt says:

      I must confess here and now, that I have black M&S socks with coloured toes and heels – and, for some reason, I do keep them together in pairs, even though it is not necessary to do so.
      So, there it is – I AM the chap in today’s post – look if I just pull the side of my shoe away you can see the colour of my…

  2. Rebecca says:

    Interesting! I adore coloured heels and toes, but greatly dislike wearing odd socks. Such wantonness doth offend mine sensibilitie (while odd spelling dost not)…

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Yes, I like the look of socks with coloured heels and toes too – they look classy; pity people can’t see ’em, unless you wear sandals of course – argh… socks with sandals! – No no no!…
      You came over all Shakespearean towards the end of your comment, or was it perhaps biblical?…

      • Rebecca says:

        No, no, twas the Bard…bet he had good socks and could carry them off. I’m entirely with you on the sandals issue, as all right-thinking people must be.

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