Some short but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s banana is the one curled around the bottom of the teapot in an affectionate manner.

Excuses for being late. No. 307.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to solve one or two hard quadratic equations.

A single overheard remark:
‘Is Auntie Ann my friend again? Ho ho ho!…’

I prefer to go in Caffe Nero towards the end of the day when it is usually a bit quieter. Of course most of the noise in cafes is generated by one’s fellow customers, but late in the afternoon last Thursday, as I was sitting composing interesting and amusing things for you in my little notebook, one of the baristas collecting trays and crockery from the tables about ten feet to my left started on a long shouted conversation with a reasonably quiet pal of hers who was sitting at a table about fifteen feet to my right. She was very loud and had a high-pitched piercing voice. In the middle of her conversation I heard her shout, with no hint of irony, ‘It’s not just the coffee of course, people come in cafes for the ambience…’

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Malcolm Tent.

Ah, now then… A piece of spam has just popped into my comments box. It seems to be from someone called Jerseys for sale:
‘Paul Shalhoub, Esq. and Rachel Strickland,Esq.), co-counsel to the debtors; (iii) Dewey and Leboeuf LLP, One the years, to be sure, Jackson was really brilliant, unusual guitarist who got around on reportsGillibrand, Sen.And with that connection comes responsibility. They trust him. Send then two ways, by mail have to be the delivery guy, though; it could be anyone at FedEx. Current workers will a bulk order at a discount Now, many things can keep one from believing. But I think’
Well, thank you Jerseys for sale, I will certainly bear in mind what you have said, and I really do hope to hear from you again soon.

You see, years ago artists worked really hard, and they developed great practical skills in order to produce work that people could easily connect with, enjoy, and appreciate – now artists don’t bother with working hard and developing skills, but they demand that their audience work very hard to try to find some sort of meaning in the dull and simplistic things that they have the arrogance to put on show.

‘So, how do you think that Lieutenant Columbo manages to solve all those crimes so easily?’
‘I think it’s because he gets to read the script at the beginning of each episode.’
‘Ah, right…’

A single overheard remark:
‘So I had to wash all the brass sectors…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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4 Responses to Some short but pithy items…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Oh dear! Arrogant artists…..everyone is one these days, you know….did you know that even WalMart sells blank stretched canvases?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Well, I think that’s good – the more creativity the better! I actually prefer ‘amateur’ art to the pretentious minimalist tosh you see in posh white-painted galleries.

      • Dana Doran says:

        Perhaps it’s not so much the minimalist tosh, but the pretentious dealer housed in the white-painted gallery? I do know someone who now brokers “modern masters” for a living…albeit after a lengthy career selling fashion for YSL….I’m sure you see where I’m going here!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Yes DD, I see where you are going…
        I did have to look up what ‘ESL’ was though…

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