One or two short but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s euphemistic Victorian expletive is ‘By Jilly!’ – I don’t think there is any point in wondering who this Jilly might have been, it’s just these prim Victorian gentlemen stopping short of saying ‘By Jesus!’ – and quite right too! ‘By Jesus’ indeed!…

Excuses for being late. No. 308.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had a Singapore Noodles ready meal spillage in my shoulder bag.

A single overheard remark:
‘No, no, they look radioactive!…’

‘I notice that when you get off the bus, sometimes you say ‘thank you’ to the driver and sometime you don’t?’
‘Yes, I only thank the driver when he/she hasn’t driven through any red lights.’
‘I see. So, what is it? Fifty percent of the time?’
‘Yes, that’s about it…’

Hm, I’m thinking of changing my name to Lee Pinder-Dark.

Mooching through town yesterday I noticed a couple of scruffy looking chaps leaning against the wall of a hotel. Nothing remarkable about that, except that one of the blokes, a thin unshaven one, was standing in front of a round sign or plaque fastened to the wall; it was yellow or gold in colour. From where I was standing it was directly behind his head; he looked just like a saint with a halo from an old master painting – a bit like St Sebastian, but without the arrows. I did think of walking across to tell him, but I decided not to bother…

‘Oh look, the radiation coming off that naked unshielded nuclear reactor over there in the sky seems to have burned your skin.’
‘Oh, you like my tan? Thank you!’
‘You’re welcome…’

An observation:
All the people in town today were walking slowly with their eyes almost closed and their mouths hanging open – I decided that I should do that too, to prevent being stared at and ridiculed…

Hey! Aren’t we humans brilliant? We’ve had nuclear weapons for about seventy years and we haven’t had a jolly good all-out nuclear war yet – I think that’s worth celebrating don’t you?… Eh, what’s that?… North Korea has done what?…

A single overheard remark:
‘Yes, I put my foot through it a couple of weeks ago…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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2 Responses to One or two short but pithy items…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Which called to mind a conversation with the former commander of a Soviet Union nuclear warship in the mid-nineties, whom we had occasion to meet (after a surge of wealthy immigrants from the former USSR moved to California) because our children went to school together. He came with vodka and pickles. After about half a bottle, my husband inquired, “would you have pushed the button?” He laughed. “No. Highly doubtful…you see, as warhead was produced in Russia, we had no idea if it would launch or blow up on the ship.” As an aside, the family returned to Russia after Putin gained control.

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