The man on the folded back vinyl…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s existential angst is centred around the sound of the word batholith.

dscn4277Right then, before I start screwing those expensive soundproofing plasterboards onto the wall (well, the newly arrived people in the flat to the left are just a bit too loud and vocally demonstrative for me, and they also seem rather keen on developing the art of emotional door slamming) I think I’d better squirt some expanding foam into those voids between the joists and the brick wall.
Now, come on Dave, peel the vinyl floor covering back to give access to the bottom of the wall – oh it does flop and spring about doesn’t it? What I don’t want to do is to kneel on the fold and crack it – what I need is something to gently weight it down, how about a nice heavy book from the nearby bookshelf? Ah, this will do nicely, it’s an impressive 2 inches thick! Right, let’s get squirting – churrrrrr… churrrrr… churrrrr… Good! That should be fine, I’ll leave that to bubble up for a while…
Hang on, who is that chap staring up at me? He doesn’t look too happy does he? Perhaps I’ll find out who he is before I pack my tools away…
Doh! Isn’t that annoying! Nowhere on the cover does it say what the cover painting is – they usually do don’t they? But not this time… There are 1001 paintings in this book… I really would like to know who this chap is now that I’ve noticed him, perhaps I should just flick through at random – no Dave that’s silly, a thousand and one paintings, it would take for ever! Perhaps I could guess at the date, that might help. The work looks, oh, 17th c. to me… Hm, no… Later perhaps?… No… I getting fed up with this!
You can’t give up now, pick a suitable artist from the index then. How about Goya – he does look a bit Goya-ish doesn’t he? No, no, not Goya… Hm… How about, oh what’s his name… er, Caravaggio?  Aha! Page 203! There he is! Wonderful! But it’s not a chap, it’s a woman – it’s the Head of Medusa 1598! She’s in the Uffizi gallery, Florence, or even Firenze if you like. (Funny how one country has different names for cities in another country – ‘Londres’ etc. You’d think that they’d respect the original version wouldn’t you?) I see they’ve cropped her down a bit for the cover so you can’t see her snakes… Good, I’m glad that is sorted out…
Mm, she does look a bit strange down there on the floor, maybe I’ll take a quick photo of her next to all that mucky stuff…
(H of M)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, books, composition, existentialism, history, humour, information, learning, painting, photography, puzzle, serendipity, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to The man on the folded back vinyl…

  1. “Vocally Demonstrative” thats good, I like that phrase! And I think most people would have that face – male or female – if they had a bunch of writhing snakes on their head….but she does look very manly all the same. Oh and nice job on the expanding foam…I still haven’t quite got that under control yet!

  2. Shammy says:

    Medusa seems to have a Donald Trump style mouth……

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Some books are so “preachy”…..

  4. ktz2 says:

    Good post – funny. ‘The art of emotional door-slamming’. . hahaha

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