Mum… about the Queen…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s wrinkled old black and white snapshot is the one of me and Jackson Pollock throwing bread rolls at each other in a New York deli in 1950.
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‘Mum…’
‘Yes dear?’
‘I was thinking…’
‘That’s always good, what were you thinking about?’
‘Well, is the Queen more intelligent than you?’
‘The Queen? That’s a very odd question, let me think for a moment…’
‘Well?’
‘Off hand, I would think probably not.’
‘Really? So, is say, young prince what’s-his-name more intelligent than me?’
‘I shouldn’t think so dear. Anyway, what has set off this train of thought?’
‘I was just looking a picture of the Royal Family, they were standing on the balcony of the palace, in flashy clothes, and jewels, and medals, and things; they were all smiling, and I wondered…’
‘What did you wonder dear?’
‘I wondered if they were better and brighter than us; they do look as if they are…’
‘Well dear, that’s why they have the flashy clothes, jewels and medals…’
‘Oh?…’
‘How about this then? Can you imagine one of those princes or princesses sitting with you in your class at school?’
‘Well, no I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, I’m not quite sure, perhaps they’d be too intelligent for a school like ours.’
‘That’s what they’d like you to think – you know, it’s all very sad really…’
‘Sad? Why sad?…’
‘You see, as soon as these people are born they start to be indoctrinated.’
‘Indoctrinated?…’
‘Yes, into thinking that they are not normal humans like you and me, but that they are a special sort of human.’
‘How special? I mean special how?’
‘Blood…’
‘Blood?… What?…’
‘Breeding… it’s the passing on of magic blood which automatically attracts wealth and power.’
‘What!…’
‘You see, their ancestors took all the stuff by force, and gave themselves attractive names like ‘king’ and ‘queen’ and ‘duke’…’
‘Earls and barons?’
‘Yes dear, and they passed it all on to their children through the ‘bloodline’.’
‘Bloodline? So were the original kings and queens and dukes more intelligent than the ordinary folk, and that’s how they managed to get all the wealth and power?’
‘No dear, they just happened to be the greedy and violent ones.’
‘And not very nice?’
‘No, not very nice… So these current princes and princesses that we have now are given a very expensive education that moulds them into conforming to what princes and princesses are supposed to be, and even the most dim-witted child would come out looking good at the end of it.’
‘So intelligence or cleverness doesn’t come into it?’
‘No, not at all, they don’t need to be clever – in their later life the nearest they’ll get to having a proper job is being put in the army to shoot guns at people and fly helicopters.’
‘Mum…’
‘Yes?’
‘Why do we all still worship them, and take an interest in their every move, respect them, and have one of them as the head of our country?’
‘Now that, is a very good question!’
‘What’s the answer?’
‘I’m sorry dear, but I can’t answer that without resorting to bad language and expletives, you are far too young for that. Now, what shall we have for lunch?…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, conversation, history, humour, information, observations, Royalty, thinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Mum… about the Queen…

  1. Hehehehe šŸ™‚ Very cheeky, but oh so true!

  2. ktz2 says:

    If somebody brash and forward were to say to the Queen – ‘Yo Queenie, hey baby, what’s shakin’?’ would she even have the faintest clue what that meant ‘in translation’? haha

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