This is not art. No. 11…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s 19th c. American expletive is, Grease us twice! – a very nice and acceptable replacement for Jesus Christ!
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EPSON scanner imageThis is a scanned 35mm negative from my days of old-style black and white, film and stinky darkroom photography. As I picked this one out to share with you today I realised that this image would fit nicely in with my ongoing series that I call ‘This is Not Art’ – things that look like artworks, but are just everyday items and have no lurking artist involved in their creation. As I frequently say, they are usually far more visually stimulating than those dreary bland things we often see in posh galleries.
‘So Dave, what is this thing?’ I hear you ask.
A few years ago I used to like to wander around a couple of the Dulltown docks with my camera on a quiet Sunday afternoon – there was a large dry dock there where they used to repair ships – sometimes there was a ship in it and sometimes there wasn’t – it’s great to see one of those hulking great shapely things lifted out of her element, steel and wood blocks under her keel, propped up from each side with big timbers to stop her rolling over. Do you like the way I use ‘her’ instead of ‘it’ – when I was a kid my dad told me that that was the correct and polite way to refer to ships…
So, this is just a piece of steel plate that the repairers have been using to cut their shapes from. Doesn’t it look thick and heavy! It sort of makes you want to slip your fingers under one corner and try to lift it – but of course you wouldn’t be able to – it looks at least an inch thick, if not more. It seems that the most popular recent shapes were rectangles and discs – I wonder if the discs were to weld into portholes that were no longer required to be looked out of and needed to be blocked up?
It’s a lovely piece though isn’t? If you owned this, would you display it on the floor as it is here, or mount it on the wall, or perhaps have it hanging, slowly rotating, on a single steel wire from the ceiling? I suppose you could have it cleaned up a bit, and even have it painted, or chrome plated – but no, no! That would ruin the patina! It would be perfect just as it is…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, composition, creation, Dulltown, expletives, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, observations, photography, sculpture, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to This is not art. No. 11…

  1. ktz2 says:

    If I found that ust laying on the ground, I’d sure pick it up and take it home, and in fact have a few strange mystery objects myself that I’ve seen on the street, waiting to be found

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Hm, I think you might need to have a small crane if you wanted to take it home – it would be interesting to be arrested for stealing such a thing though wouldn’t it?… Ho ho!…
      “…and exhibit number 1 Your Honour is…”

  2. Jheron Bash says:

    The past is another country and in black and white ….

  3. Jheron Bash says:

    I do like that picture though!

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