Some small but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s instruction is to go into a crowded public space and stand with your eyes closed and your arms outstretched, hold your breath for as long as you can and then suddenly release it shouting out a made up word such as ‘bunckles!’
Repeat the process several times with different words.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Excuses for being late. No. 315.
I’m sorry I’m late but I started thinking about tokamaks. (T)

A single overheard remark:
‘It’s real hard not doin’ no fuckin’ speed…’

Personal note:
The next time I go into town I must take a pair of secateurs with me; a few yards down the road from the bus stop there is a tree with a burst of foliage sprouting from its trunk at just the right height to block the view of any approaching bus.
(But first, must find out if one can be arrested for pruning a public tree.)

When his conversation became a bit limp, she would cleverly wrap it up in a badinage…

‘I’m gooey gnome…’
‘You’re what?’
‘Gooey gnome…’
‘Are you by any chance from Hull in Yorkshire?’
‘Yes…’
‘Ah, you are ‘going home’…’
‘Yes, that’s what I said…’

Oh look, another item of spam has appeared in my comments box. It seems to be from someone called Jane Yahoo:
It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the longer term and it’s time to be happy. I have read this put up and if I may just I wish to recommend you some attraction-grabbing things or advice. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. i desire to read more issues about it.
Well, thank you Jane Yahoo, I will certainly bear in mind what you have said, and I do hope to hear from you again soon.

‘And then she turned white as a sheet!… Even whiter!…’
‘As white as two sheets perhaps?’
‘Yes, that’s right!…’

Yes, I’m think of changing my name to Holly Woodacta.

A single overheard (possibly misheard) remark:
‘It was all tennis and then Jean Cocteau…’ (JC)

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, drama, dreaming, Dulltown, existentialism, Hull.UK., humour, information, instruction, misheard, observations, overheard, people, science, serendipity, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Some small but pithy items…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    Gooey gnome … love it!

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Your Boston accent made me smile (Holly Woodacta)…..have you been watching the Wahlbergs? No? I really hope it’s not available outside the US. This reality tv thing seems to be a barometer for how much crap the American public will swallow (a real measure of intelligence, awareness and compliance)…..as long as people watch it, the more the media will know that, truly, they can make up any story and all of these viewers will believe its true! I really am smiling still…but need more coffee!

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