Stella and the stolen fingers…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s eel is the unshaven one in the dirty grey suit smoking a hand-rolled cigarette in the pub doorway.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALandscape No. 25 (1992). Charcoal and pencil on paper probably about 24″ x 18″.

‘Yes?… Who’s that?…’
‘It’s me you idiot!’
‘Who is “me”?’
‘Open this door, you cretin!’
‘Ah, Stella my dear, it’s you! How very healthy, radiant, and bright-eyed you look this nippy frosty morning! Oh, that’s a really horrible scarf you have there.’
‘Just shut up and get the kettle on, I have Cadbury’s fingers.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that my dear, are they painful?’
‘Chocolate biscuits you nitwit!… Right, I want hot steaming Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea in a great big mug!’
‘It’s not like you to bring biscuits, you are such a notorious skinflint – you usually come and eat all mine.’
‘There was a shoplifter being chased down your street by a copper, I found the packet on the pavement… What the hell is that?’
‘Just a drawing Stella…’
‘It’s bit bloody grim isn’t it?’
‘Well I…’
‘Here David, have a couple of fingers, where’s my tea?… Oh dear, this is another of your bloody eco-disaster, post apocalyptic, let’s set the world to rights, miserable, graphic stern warnings to the stupid people of Earth…’
‘S’pose it is, here’s your tea, and please try to drink it quietly, you know it annoys me when you…’
‘Good god, just look at all that unpleasant spiky rusted debris sticking up out of its nest of festering lifeless mud!’
‘So, you don’t like my drawing then?’
‘Oh, but I do, I think it’s one of your best! I love it!…’
‘You are joking?…’
‘Oh, and look at that filthy streaky bacon sky… and hey, the great monolithic building, where the politicians and bankers are cowering in luxury behind their great armoured front door…’
‘What about it Stella my dear?’
‘Are the rows of windows meant to look like staring empty skull eyes? Are they representing the lost souls, the poor bloody victims of the… Hang on, this looks rather like that big hospital at the end of your road…’
‘Yes… so?… What if it does? By the way, how’s the tea?’
‘Very nice, I might have another cup in a minute or two – here David, have another couple of serendipitous stolen fingers…’
‘Hm, don’t mind if I do… Shall we dunk?’
‘Yes, why not…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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3 Responses to Stella and the stolen fingers…

  1. memadtwo says:

    Trump Tower, perhaps. Just a stage set. (K)

  2. Dana Doran says:

    I see what you did there! But, I didn’t see it until I walked across the room to get my second cup of coffee….looked across the room at my laptop and saw the faint remnants of the drifting “bacon-like” rashers of clouds through that structure! A ghost of a building amongst the rubble?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Thank you Dana – I had forgotten ‘what I did there’ – it was a long time ago…
      Or, is that a glassy building and those rashers are a refection of the sky in front… Well, I don’t know either… What fun drawing is!…

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