Mail Art Postcard No. 4619…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s dictionary words are: distyle, distringas, disyllabism, dita, dithecal, and wootz. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. The professor will be conducting the lesson using a small 1950s Japanese phrase book he recently bought in a junk shop, you will be expected to do your best under the circumstances.

w-f-4619Right then… Is this festive enough for you this bright clear (there is less pollution in the air as business has shut down for the holiday – I’ll bet this is what the air was like hundreds of years ago!) Christmas morning?…
Yes, yet another of my popular mail art postcards, a simple collage on fluorescent card using cuttings from that awful UK TV listings magazine What’s On TV.
These clippings must have been snipped out last Christmas, but assembled fairly recently, going by the high card number.
I don’t watch any ‘popular’ television, so I don’t know who these three people are, although the white-haired one in the middle does seem familiar for some reason…
No, no, stop right there! I can feel you, my dear reader, getting ready to put a little something in my comments box which will tell me the names and histories of this ghastly trio… Just stop right there! I really don’t need to know such things!… Bah!…
Now then, I see that only two of them are wearing bright festive jumpers, perhaps the wardrobe department only had two, so the bloke, looking rather uneasy, on the right had to wear his suit.
‘Come on, everyone look at the camera, that’s it, eyes wide open, big broad smiles please… Er… You, you in the suit, is that the best you can do? Come on, put a bit of life into it!… Oh, lady on the left, that’s a bit of a ‘come-hither’ look you’ve got there isn’t it?… Yes?… Alright, that’s fine by me, it is Christmas you know – but if that’s how you want it… Yes, I know the jumpers look a bit ‘flat’, but I’ll be able to sparkle them up a bit with some glowing stars later on Photoshop… Sorry mate, can’t do anything about your drab suit I’m afraid, look, just hide behind er, what’s-his-name in the middle… Everybody ready?…’

(Professor Mouldie’s book)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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14 Responses to Mail Art Postcard No. 4619…

  1. They are morning telly folk, but thats as far as you will let me go before spattering me with fluorescent paint! haha! Not that I watch TV – its only on for the dog so she has company while I go about my daily routine. But I do like the cheery colours! And gosh, Professor Mouldie has the most interestingly bizarre book collection! 🙂

    • Dave Whatt says:

      “It’s only on for the dog” – Doh!…
      The book seems to have been written for visiting American business people – and contains Japanese translations of things like, “I was really up a stump about that…”

  2. I’ve had a good laugh with this one. Thanks :-))
    (By the way, I’ve been studying Japanese for three decades and have not learnt a single word yet; now I’ll try this method, which at least is written in English. Mine is written in Malayalam and I cannot understand what it says.)

  3. ktz2 says:

    Always a smile or laugh from your posts. I have a photo similar to the middle man, from a commercial card made years ago…only it’s a kitten with a lady’s red lipsticked smiling mouth, funny.

  4. ktz2 says:

    By the way Happy Christmas, Dave.
    Recently I found some vintage Christmas card images from Victorian times. . it seems there were some seriously disturbed artists back then, take a look

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