Drama on the bus, and in the cafe…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s architectural term is Queen-post – One of a pair of upright posts placed symmetrically on a tie-beam (or collar-beam), connecting it with the rafters above. I don’t really know what this means, but I just love the words.

I wonder if one can be arrested, and locked up, for writing down people’s conversations overheard in a public place? And what about if you subsequently share it with the world on t’interweb? (T)
Well, my reasoning goes, that if people are speaking loudly enough to be heard, then what they say must be in the public domain, whatever that is. What is the public domain? I imagine a large domed building something like an old-style railway station bustling with chatting humanity – I won’t too long, I’m just popping down to the Public Domain for an hour or so…

Anyway, I was on a bus in the bus station, there were a couple of shouting people sitting in the upstairs front seats:
‘Can you see her? …and she wouldn’t come and see her nana… who’s just had an ‘eart attack, and shit like that – fuckin’ ‘ell!…
She went, “I sent her a card!…” Me, I’m fuckin’ fuming!… Coz she’s me nan!… I really am fucking angry!… Becky can’t be arsed… Me, I came into fucking town – know what I mean? Know what I mean?… What you gonna tell your mam?… Where you been?… Where you been?… No!… Not stupid!… I’m pissed off!… It’s her fucking boyfriend now!… Look, she’s getting on the number three!  Why’s she getting on the fuckin’ number three?… Where’s she going?… She always gets the number eight!… Fuckin’ hell!…’

And later, a young woman on her phone in the cafe:
‘You don’t hear what I’m fucking saying do you! No… I’m in Nero’s. No… No, no, I’ve explained all that!… I tell you summat like that, but you don’t fucking understand it!…
No, no, to be honest… No, it’s too manic for me!… Continue the theme… continue the theme!… No! It’s not fixed!… I’m the one in struggle!… Might as well talk to meself… what with me bad arm and shoulder now!… You are not going to Gail’s – he thinks we are going out tonight… but we’re not!… No, when you bin at work all fuckin’ week!… Counselling? Counselling!… He talks to somebody on his fuckin’ computer… No… You do what? Texting it?… No, I can’t calm down! Yeah, yeah, yeah… What? A pub meal?… That’s what I’m gonna do… Keep schtuck!… Whenever!… whenever… all right… all right… Thanks for ringing anyway…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in architecture, cafe, conversation, drama, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, Hull.UK., humour, information, observations, overheard, people, serendipity, surrealism, swearing, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Drama on the bus, and in the cafe…

  1. Now then…overheard conversations in the public domain. Well! I could write down some real corkers, but I recently found out that if they are identifiable (as in the events or the people) they *could* (theoretically) be a bit cross with you. However, these sound pretty much like the ones I overhear, so I reckon you are alright. “Nowt so funny as folk” my uncle used to say.

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Interesting question and so I looked up “public domain” in my handy-dandy copy of Black’s Law Dictionary (7th Ed.) which weighs about 10 lbs. Black’s Law is used in the US, widely accepted as a primary resource for legal definitions…..it says: Public Domain 1)government-owned land, 2) the realm of publications, inventions, and processes that are not protected by copyright or patent. – Things in the public domain can be appropriated by anyone without liability for infringement. So, at least in ‘merica you’d be totally safe…..unless someone announced their conversation in public was protected by a copyright….I envision a couple of politicians (perhaps including Hillary) speaking with little bubbles above their heads – in the little bubble is a “c” displayed inside a tightly drawn circle! You couldn’t even quote them without facing a lawsuit…which makes sense…they are all lawyers. You do know what they say about 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

  3. junkmonkey says:

    My favourite bit of overheard that I managed to down in the sketchbook before I forgot it was this snippet from someone behind me in an immensely crowded Comic Con:

    “…first up that is NOT a costume, it’s a McDonald’s bag on your head…”

    And I overheard this conversation in a café in Fort William a couple of years ago It’s the tourist season. A middle-aged lady of North British accent is on a mobile phone:

    “We’re going back to the cottage now… …In Fort William… Just put on the sat-nav and it’s in it… It’s already in it… In the sat-nav… Just press the button and Fort Williams is in it… For the cottage… just follow that…. Press ‘Previous Destination’… ‘Previous Destination’… in the sat-nav… yes… the sat-nav… yes… No, press the button… ‘Previous Destination’… Right… Right… See you.”

    She puts the phone away and turns to her friend. “They don’t stand a cat in hell’s chance, do they?”

    Her friend shakes her head. “No,” she says sadly. “No they don’t.”

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