Mail Art Postcard No. 4541…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s instruction is to take it out of its cardboard travelling box, place it on a sturdy low table and carefully unscrew the knurled cap in the centre of the top (do not touch the knurled cap in the left-hand corner), pull out the pink wadding and dispose of it, now blow down the hole until you become tired. Pull out pins A, B, C, E, and F – leave pin D in place for the time being (see appendix II). Switch on the auxiliary fan and stand nonchalantly with your hand on the now warmed-up top-plate whilst smoking a well-earned cigarette.

wp-f-4541Does this make you smile, does it cheer you up, on this dreary cold day in February in the Northern Hemisphere? It does me. Of course where you are, reading this twaddle, the sun may be blazing down on a sparkling azure (what a lovely word!) sea, with white yachts bobbing and nudging each other in the harbour, a gentle pine-scented breeze coming off the hot dry rugged land. Oh, can that be a couple of gaudy parrots I see winging (another lovely word) overhead?… No, it’s not like that here… here it’s dreich (a nice Scottish word). Hm, I think I might busy myself indoors today…
Hang on, let’s start again:
Here’s another of my mail art postcards, a simple collage on bright coloured card using cuttings from that awful British TV listings magazine What’s On TV.
This is Tom, Tom Stunk, a cheery soul, he’s a plucky British secret agent on an unauthorised dangerous mission; he’s currently hiding out in a basket of cucumbers in a seedy market somewhere in Eastern Europe where it is still 1964… I am rambling on a lot this morning. Oh dear, I see that it is now afternoon!… Where did the morning go?
There’s not really much to say about this card, except perhaps that it is a reasonably effective stab in the direction of surrealism.
Even though the stuck-on eyes and the mouth are from different people they do work well together don’t they?… By the way, those cucumbers seem a bit sinister to me – they look like they could be writhing (another good word) – nobody wants writhing cucumbers – imagine one of them sliced up in a nice salad, you’d find all the tomatoes, lettuce, radishes, and other bits pushed off the plate onto your lap… would you mind passing me that napkin Tom?…


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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5 Responses to Mail Art Postcard No. 4541…

  1. ktz2 says:

    I laughed out loud

  2. Dana Doran says:

    I think that the Scot that first used the word “dreich” derived its meaning from a trip to Seattle (where the news media alerted us to watch for a rare “snow moon” last night, knowing all the while it could not be seen because of the dense cloud cover.) umm…something about a tree falling in the forest

  3. Oh dash it! I got all confused with those instructions, and blew on the knurled cap in the left hand corner. It flew off across the room and landed in the dogs dish of food, whereupon it was scoffed up by said dog. Such an integral part of the apparatus too! Anyway, yes, its driech up here too – “a day fer the hoose” as they say. I like your postcard, although the writhing cucumbers are a tad disconcerting. I prefer my salad to remain on the plate. 😀

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