One or two titchy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s Raymond Chandler quote is from his 1949 novel The Little Sister:
Her eyes were melting. ‘Take my glasses off,’ she whispered. ‘Philip. I don’t mind if you take a little whisky once in a while, Really I don’t.’
Our faces were about six inches apart. I was afraid to take her glasses off. I might have socked her on the nose.
‘Yes,’ I said in a voice that sounded like Orson Welles with his mouth full of crackers.

Excuses for being late. No. 324.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I wasn’t kept in the loop.

A single overheard remark:
‘Jason! You are just wowing your ego!…’

A short note:
Dear America,
The world is laughing at, and is also frightened by, your President. Are you embarrassed at all?

If you watch any TV series or films from the 1960s or early 1970s there is usually a ‘trendy sixties party scene’ included, featuring: brightly coloured clothes and decor, flashing lights, grinning girls in short skirts, lots of eye makeup, dancing on wobbly tables, people smoking funny looking cigarettes, wearing thick sunglasses indoors, swinging in hanging basket chairs or lolling on leopard-skin sofas, or playing the bongo drums with closed eyes. There is loud beaty music playing, but, it is always the wrong kind.
The music of the ’60s was played on electric guitars, and sometimes on spooky sounding electric organs; bands like the The Doors, The Quicksilver Messenger Service, Blue Cheer, The Stones, Captain Beefheart, etc. but at these set piece parties it generally comes from stodgy old-style saxophones, trumpets, or jazzy flutes…
I reckon that the studios had easy access to ‘proper’ union musicians to record the stuff for them, and wouldn’t go near any unreliable, weird, long-haired, pot-smoking, unwashed, upstart real ones…

Aha! Another item of spam in my comments box! I love these! This one seems to be from someone called ‘John’ – Oh, I was expecting something more spectacular than ‘John’.
‘Waay cool! Somee extremely valid points! I appreciate yoou penbing thiks pot andd also tthe rest oof thee website is also really good. Hi there, i rad your blog occasionally annd i owwn a similar onne and I was wondefing iff yyou get a loot of spam responses?
If sso hhow doo youu stop it, any plugin orr anything youu can advise?’
Well, thank you ‘John‘, I’m afraid I can’t think of any solution to your problem at the moment, but I will give it further consideration. Thank you for getting in touch.

Hm, I’m thinking of changing my name to Marigold Glove.

A single overheard remark:
‘It’s people gromping… just always gromping!…’


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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11 Responses to One or two titchy items…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    Isn’t it terrible when you try to take someone’s glasses off and give them a sock on the nose?
    Marigold Glove, eh?

  2. Gromping! What a splendid word – I’m going to steal that for the rest of the day – hope you don’t mind. I’ll credit you, of course. And talking of 60’s/70’s shows, I watched a music show recently (possibly Top of the Pops, or Old Grey Whistle Test, can’t remember now) and it was all in black and white, naturally. But I thought it was such a shame that the flashing lights and patterned frocks couldn’t be seen in their full glory (I had to re-write that as I first typed “gory”, ha!). So yes…the black and white days…and not a mobile phone in sight!

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Oh, no need to credit me – it is from a person unknown.
      I just Googled the word ‘gromping’ on your behalf – it does not exist, except as someone’s surname…

      • Oh my word! Imagine being called that?! Mr & Mrs Grompling…..or having a baby Grompling, hahaha! That is the cutest thing I have heard. Its far better than my surname before I got married, lordy….half the reason I tied the know was to get rid of the name (kidding!)

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Er… ‘Gromping’ – one can’t afford to get one’s Gromplings and Grompings mixed up you know dear Scribbler…
        I can’t help but notice that you didn’t actually mention your maiden name…

      • It was only after I posted this comment that I realised the terrible spelling mistake in Gromping/Grompling. I didn’t want to draw your attention to it for fear of labouring the point and hoped you wouldn’t notice. Ah well. And “Grundey-with-an-e-mustn’t-forget-the-e-its-what-makes-you-different-from-the-others-who-end-in-just-a-Y-” said my old aunty from Stockport. I had to recite that whole bit whenever anyone asked me my name. No wonder folk thought I was a strange child, haha!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Thank you for that my dear Scribbler! We are all up to speed now (as they say).
        I’m glad to hear that you were a ‘strange child’ – I was one of those too…

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Dear Mr. World,
    No, we are not. But, thanks for asking.
    PS They have a pill for that, you know – that nervous laughter – advertised nightly on television for an affliction known as Pseudo Bulbar Effect – laughing or crying when completely inappropriate. I’m told the correspondents to the White House are now having withdrawals from taking it for the last 8 years…withdrawal symptoms also include short term memory loss, confusion, ringing in the ears, and something like Tourette’s. Its’s quite expensive here, thanks to affordable care, but guaranteed it’s sold for less to the rest of the WORLD. Cheers!

  4. ktz2 says:

    Oh there’s a couple of blast-from-the-past bands from my spot on the map. . . Blue Cheer–Summertime Blues. . Quicksilver–Pride of Man. .

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