Yes, but would one?…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s carefully selected colours are: pompous purple, gargantuan grey, Bodmin black, sepulchral sepia, kicking khaki and rotund ruby.

(For best effect his piece should read out loud by two decent actors.)

‘Ah, look, here’s a very nice one!’
‘Well yes, but why would one want one?’
‘Why would one want one?’
‘Would one want one, would one want one?…’
‘Would one?…’
‘Yes, one.’
‘One what?’
‘No, one you… you one… you know…’
‘Me one?’
‘Yes, or me one.’
‘You one?’
‘You one too?’
‘Mm, me one too, you see, why would you… one… want one?’
‘Me one, you one, want one too?’
‘I don’t want one… or two.’
‘You don’t?’
‘No, and I don’t know why you, one, would want one either.’
‘Alright then… Do you remember that great British actor Edward Woodward? I liked him… The Wicker Man you know…’
‘The painter?
‘No, no, that was Edward Wadsworth, he was very good too.’
‘Oh, alright then, what about him?’
‘If he was here, right now… would he want one?’
‘Well, I don’t see why not.’
‘So, Edward Woodward would want one?’
‘Yes, I think Edward Woodward would.’
‘So, Edward Woodward would, would he?’
‘Good, I’m glad we have that sorted out!’
‘So, are you going to get one?’
‘One hasn’t really decided yet.’
‘Edward Woodward, he would decide very quickly, he was that sort of chap.’
‘Oh, Edward Woodward would, would he?’
‘Oh yes, he was a one, was Edward Woodward…’

(EW and EW)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, celebrities, colours, conversation, cool, drama, humour, painting, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Yes, but would one?…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    One would wander wouldn’t one?
    What’s Edward Woodward without a d or w?
    Ear Ooar!

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Yes, but who’s on first?

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