Some Hulks by the bathroom requisites…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s unusual pencil sharpener is the one shaped like the sound of a mouse behind the wainscoting.
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Look out!… It’s a bunch of Hulks!… Quick Dave, get your little camera out! Click!…

Yes, one day last June I was for some reason in the cheapskate-bargain-poor-people-supermarket in Dulltown centre, I just turned the corner of an aisle and, whoa!…
I know I’m supposed to be a surrealist and that I should be impervious to the unexpected strangenesses in life, but Mr Hogan and his jolly band of tense bulging replicants quite took my breath away. Just look at those thighs! And gosh, isn’t he orange? I suppose you’d call that a ‘nice even tan’. And is that a swimming cap he’s got on?… Or is it a baseball cap, that for some reason he’s snipped the brim off?…

Oh, excuse me Hulk… er, Mr Hogan, those are very interesting looking yellow underpants you have on – they seem rather, er, stiff… Are they armoured in some way, perhaps with Kevlar?… They seem very sturdy, but don’t look very comfortable… but each to his own I suppose…

These figures look pretty damn good don’t they? So unusual and eye-catching don’t you think? Right then, let’s see, how much are they? Ah £10.99 each, I see that they are a ‘star buy’ too. I could just about afford to get two or three of those. Just one would be no good would it? You’d have to have a number of them to achieve this super effect – I could imagine a few Hulks on guard in the corner of my living room, or perhaps a small group of them lurking behind a curtain to surprise nosey visitors. No, no, best not… I have enough junk in the house as it is…
But I wonder why they are selling them off? Perhaps Hulk isn’t as popular as he used to be? He must be getting on in years now; do you retain your lovely muscles when you get old? I don’t think so, I think nature replaces them all with wrinkles – No, no, stop it, I don’t want to dwell on such depressing things this bright sunny morning…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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9 Responses to Some Hulks by the bathroom requisites…

  1. those look like giants. or at least life size. how big are they? i will be disappointed if u say they are 6inches, and their seeming giantness is due to the camera angle.

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Why are they selling off these Hulk Hogan look-a-likes? Well, it’s probably because they’ve been in a warehouse 20 years too long, collecting dust and taking up space. I must admit, I would have walked from that store with one under each arm – because you never know what an artist might use them for later…but the Hulk, he doesn’t need them – – – settled his sex tape lawsuit last year for over $30 MILLION (that’s dollars) – – – wow, there’s a lot of money in sex tapes. Say, what’s the name of that bargain hunting store? Perhaps they would like to fill an aisle or two with some, ah, artwork?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      “One under each arm” – I know, they’re great aren’t they? I wish I’d bought a couple now.
      A sex tape lawsuit? – I obviously don’t keep up to date with important news!
      Funny, I always assumed Hulky was older than me, but on looking him up to do the post I find he isn’t – oh dear…

  3. Jheron Bash says:

    How very amusing. You really should have asked if they could do you a bulk deal. A bulk hulk deal, in fact!

  4. twallisstone says:

    Hilarious! So glad you posted this!

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