A most up to date method of divination…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s colours are: bullock brown, transparent turquoise, fidgety fawn, aromatic azure, rapscallion rouge, post box pink, and gripping grey.

Come on, let’s pretend that we are nice middle class folk living in Britain in the 1930s. It is a Sunday afternoon and we have already been to church – look, it’s raining heavily now, listen to it thud thud thud against the window, we can’t go out – shall we switch the wireless set on, or perhaps take out our well-thumbed copy of The Daily Express Enquire Within? Come on girls, that should brighten up this long long afternoon!…

With today’s selection of interesting items I will include some of the words of wisdom and proverbs that run across the head of each page.

Page 272. (Always look on the sunny side.)
Embrocations and Liniments.
Soap Liniment with Spanish Flies. – Take three ounces and a half of soap liniment and half an ounce of tincture of Spanish flies; mix and shake well. Use as a stimulant to chronic bruises, sprains and rheumatic pains.

Page 48. (Put a stout heart to a steep hill.)
Marrow Bones. – Saw the bones evenly, so that they will stand steadily; put a piece of paste into the ends; set them upright in a saucepan, and boil until they are done enough – a beef marrow bone will require from an hour and a half to two hours; serve freshly toasted bread with them.

Page 466. (Brevity is the soul of wit.)
Modelling in wax has been largely superseded by the use of more plastic materials, such as “plastiline” and “plastiscene.” The last mentioned is much used in the kindergarten departments of schools. Full details as to its use may be obtained from the proprietors Harbutt’s Plastiscene, Ltd, Bath.

Page 467. (Good wine needs no bush.)
Fortune-Telling by Tea Leaves.
The lady who can “read fortunes” in a tea-cup is much in request at a tea party. Our space is too limited to permit of our explaining the methods employed, but inquirers will find the latest and most up to date method of divination in Cicely Kent’s Telling Fortunes by Tea Leaves. 2s. net.

Page 125. (A truth ascertained is a life pension gained.)
Laws of Croquet.
xi. When a player, in his stroke, hits one or more balls, he must take croquet off the ball that is struck first; but if he has hit two simultaneously, he may choose from which of them to take it, and in both cases a second hit is required before he can take it from another ball.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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9 Responses to A most up to date method of divination…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    So many questions!
    What is the best kind of paste to put in the end of your bones?
    Will it be bone marrow on toast for tea? I know how much you like a piece of toast …
    Do you know where I might find a copy of Cicely Kent’s “Telling Fortunes by Tea Leaves”?
    I have 2s.

    • Dave Whatt says:

      1) Well, I must confess that I was a bit puzzled by ‘paste’ too – but I seem to recall from previous Enquire Within entries that ‘paste’ might mean ‘pastry’.
      2) Can’t get the bones these days.
      3) Have you Googled it? I suspect not…

  2. memadtwo says:

    Perhaps the tea leaves could give us a bit of clarity about political matters…

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Good wine needs no bush. Huh. The poor bush!

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