Decibels of dirty socks…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s carefully selected adjectives are: cockled, discal, manifold, suffruticose, noematical, doited, and wanwordy.

Yes, it was everywhere, she dared not relax her vigilance…
No, no, it’s alright, it’s just another junk shop 1960s cheap pulp sci-fi/supernatural paperback novel, a Badger Book from my modest collection. As you see this one is by John E. Muller, one of the many pseudonyms of Robert Lionel Fanthorpe who wrote most of the Badger SF and spooky output – he managed one every couple of weeks apparently.
Shall we flip the book over and see what the blurb on the back cover has to tell us?
The most gripping fear lies within the human mind. Lana Davis was a normal, healthy, sane young woman to all outward appearances, but the Unknown was laying siege to her mind. By day her work kept the worst of the terror at bay , but at night it returned. Time passed and Fear grew greater… Fear was embodied in a mysterious effigy which stood beside her bed… Fear lurked in a weird voice on the telephone…
Me, if I found myself in Lana’s position, I would have binned my bedside effigy as soon as it started playing up, but then we wouldn’t have had this fine novel, would we?
It’s a very nice cover painting isn’t it? Look, it’s signed there on the right – it’s the usual Badger Book artist Henry Fox – oh I do like his work!
It is strange, it’s weird, and it certainly is eerie. Let’s see what’s going on here:
This wide-eyed parted-lips lady is obviously our lovely Lana, look at her fabulous spooky hair, no wonder she’s troubled by spirits with hair like that! Lot’s girls now have green streaked hair. I like it, it looks very cool; so you see Lana was well ahead of her time having it back in the 1960s.
Now then, the chap on the right, pondering on something and fiddling with his medallion, he must be the spirit from the bedside effigy – doesn’t he look like the singer out of Aerosmith? Oh, see how his hair blends into Lana’s – that’s rather clever; Mr Fox is obviously suggesting that the two of them are folically locked together in space and time – and also that they must have to share the same hairdresser – no wonder Lana’s troubled! By the way, I do like the spiky red radiation emanating from bad guy’s head – oh, and look at the way Lana is clutching her fingers, almost in prayer – that is most effective…
Let me quickly dip into these fragile yellowing pages and find some examples of the writing style for you dear reader:
Lana winced with pain as the statuette was forced brutally out of her hand. Her fingers were numb where the hooded thug had wrenched them apart, and there was a dull, throbbing ache in her wrist. The masked creature held up the statuette as a returned Olympic gold medallist would hold up a precious trophy.
With the sonorous tones of the alarm bell booming and resounding until the whole Grange seemed filled with the noise, a suitcase crammed with decibels of dirty socks, a portmanteau packed and pressed down with cacophonous pyjamas, it took Lana some time to unfasten the door…
I wonder if he’s one of those people who conjure up impressions to go with names, thought Lana. I wonder what sort of impression I conjure up? She looked at her own neat, curvaceous, feminine acceptability in the small mirror on the front of the sideboard, and smiled at it…

By the way, all Badger Books have this ‘lucky Piskey’ advert page in them too – I thought that you might be interested in seeing it:

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in adjectives, archeology, art, books, drama, fashion, green, history, humour, information, painting, reading, serendipity, story, style, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Decibels of dirty socks…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Humm…what shall I comment on? There’s just too much here….you could have stretched this out for a week, but, alas, I must make a choice. Ok. It’s that front man for Aerosmith – Steven Tyler. It does look just like him! Even today, you know he’s 69 years old, he still dresses like he’s on stage, but all the time. Can you imagine? At 69, it must take half the day for makeup! Oh, and according to Google images, he’s adopted wearing the same hat as………….(are you waiting in anxious anticipation?) ….. Johnny Depp (now 54 years old, but dresses like a millennial hippy – – – I suppose it’s to hold the attention of 10 year old girls). This is the thing…kool aid. (The cult drink.) They drank it and now believe that without their staging, hair, makeup, costumes and oh yes, “the pose” their “youthful” persona must be carried on 24 hours a day! Because….well, I suppose they couldn’t live without being the center of attention….which brings us round to attaching oneself to some vulnerable young woman as a bedside effigy…because the public no longer recognized them as youthful?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Ho ho, I liked all that Dana!
      This morning when I was looking at the book cover and it suddenly dawned on me that that was Mr Tyler fiddling with his medallion I looked at Google images of him – Good God, he really looks terrible! Looking back I’m glad that I was a sensible musician and didn’t drift off into all that debauchery and stuff… He makes Keith Richards look, er, healthy…
      He does have a bit of Johnny D about him though doesn’t he?

      • Dana Doran says:

        It’s the costuming bit…can you imagine needing to be noticed ALL OF THE TIME? hahahaha I’m so happy when someone clicks the star like on a piece of my art that I pour myself a martini in celebration…even though I have no idea if they actually clicked on the like star because they liked it, felt sorry for the artists, actually was trying to get me to go to their blog and buy some class in how to be successful or what. I suppose, now that I’ve thought it out, it might be better to be fully costumed in public and demand attention!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Hm… me I like to be not noticed all of the time…
        Drab is my style…

  2. ktz2 says:

    Yes there’s a LOT here to chew on ! Steven Tyler today is scarier than the drawing, for sure. . haha. And the ‘decibels of dirty socks …cacophonous pyjamas’.. what !? noisy clothing ? Plus I had to go look up ‘portmanteau’.
    Joan the Wad–oh my. ‘Wad’ must have had a different meaning then. For all the time & space spent on text you’d think they could make a halfway decent depiction of old Joan, not some pointy-headed creepy little creature.. yikes.

    • Dave Whatt says:

      “Decibels of dirty socks” etc. – I reckon Fanthorpe might have had the odd glass of wine as he wrote this one. I love it though, not the wine, the prose! Tee hee!…
      Yes, I have no idea what “wad” means here – it will be a Cornish word I think. Also, I like the way that it is “piskey” instead of pixie.

  3. Jheron Bash says:

    Think I’ll just slip into my cacophonous pyjamas now. It’s a bit late …

  4. Love the title (and the post) but I really really want a Piskey! šŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s