Stella and the nasty creations…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s ancient Egyptian deity, appearing as a ram, or man with a ram’s head, is the god Khnum. His cult centres are Elephantine and Esna, his attributes: creator, potter, cataract, fertile soil. (Khnum)
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‘Aphrodite at the Waterhole’ No. 25. (2010) Charcoal on paper probably about 24″ x 18″.

‘Hello?… Hello? Who’s that?’
‘It’s me you idiot! Open the door, it’s raining!’
‘Have you come to read my electricity meter?’
‘David! Let me in!… You nitwit!’
‘Ah, Stella my dear, it’s you, do come in, it’s always a pleasure to…’
‘Just shut up and get me a beverage, I’m right parched…’
‘The kettle is boiling as I speak… “Right parched”, are you being deliberately ‘Yorkshire’ today? I expect that you’ll be wanting a mug of Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea then?’
‘No David, a large glass of Chardonnay…’
‘Eh?’
‘Tea and biscuits! You buffoon! And what the hell is this supposed to be? A piece of old squashed fruit?’
‘It’s a charcoal drawing from…’
‘Ah, I see bourbon biscuits! Let’s have some of those, we can dunk.’
‘Yes, we can, bourbons are fine for dunking Stella.’
‘This drawing’s a bit slapdash and scrappy isn’t it? Perhaps you were having an off day?’
‘Hm… I see you are your usual sensitive and generous self today Stella?… Me, I think I’d call it vigorous and spontaneous.’
‘Is that the title? Vigorous and Spontaneous? This tea is definitely hitting the spot, as they say.’
‘Do they?’
‘Yes, how long have you had these biscuits? They’re a bit bendy and stale’
‘No, they’re not, the packet’s only been open half-an-hour… So no, the drawing isn’t called that my dear, the title is Aphrodite at the Waterhole No. 25.’
‘How very pretentious! Where’d you dig that up?’
‘I’ve told you before, it’s from a 1960s comedy film about an artist who…’
‘Oh, yes, that dreary old thing! Is it a piece of squashed fruit then?’
‘If you like…’
‘I suppose you could say that the central, bulbous, dominating form, with its pathetic wiggling protuberances, is there representing the natural, living, soft, rounded, life on the planet – Mother N’s fauna and flora – surrounded by the spiky nasty creations of mankind – the discarded, slow to decay detritus of industry and capitalism, left to pollute and poison everything on the beautiful serene face of this gentle green sphere… I’ll have another mug of tea if you are putting the kettle on… Is that what you’d say about your drawing David?’
‘No, not really…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in adjectives, art, British film, conversation, creation, drawing, existentialism, Film, green, history, humour, religion, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Stella and the nasty creations…

  1. Oh I’d say Stella has a bit of an eye for art then 🙂 What an interpretation!

  2. David Manley says:

    Once rounded the corner of the Pompidou Centre & saw a banner that – for a moment & with mounting excitement – I thought read ‘Hancock Et L’Art’…sadly it turned out it was Hitchcock & Art. Fair enough but I still yearn for Tony’s oeuvre!

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