Onions and eyes – fun in the kitchen with Dave…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s fish with the funny name is the Tompot Blenny. (TB)

No, you see… it’s no good chopping up onions on your nice cutting board is it? Onions do have a tang and a pong that loves to linger on surfaces, doesn’t it dear reader? Unless you give the board a jolly good scrub immediately after the onions, anything else that you might slice on it will be ‘tainted’ – tainted, that’s a very nice word! No-one would want a slice of, say apple, or a half banana, that’s been tainted by essence of onion, would one?
So in my kitchen (I’m not much of a cook by the way – but I do try to eat plenty of vegetables, and I rely on a microwave to do the advanced clever stuff, like making things hot) if I am slicing up an onion or two I usually rip a page from an old copy of that awful TV listings magazine What’s On TV, fold it in half and do the onion hacking on that – afterwards you can fold it a second time, wipe the onion tainted knife between its folds, and then dispose of it straightway in the recycling bin.
So, there I was, preparing my evening meal, cutting up a big fat round one – I suddenly had the feeling that I was being watched. Yes, there she was, some soap star on the bright front page, her upside down eyes and dark brows peering up at me from between the white chunks.
Oh, I thought, that might make an interesting photograph, better wipe my hands before I get the camera out though… Click!…
I’ll bet you have by now, dear reader, spotted those little flecks of green sticking to the white onion pieces, and are wondering what they might be – they look like bits of cress, but really I think they are fragments of broccoli carried over from the knife’s previous task… I do like broccoli… and onions… Mm…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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6 Responses to Onions and eyes – fun in the kitchen with Dave…

  1. Broccoli and onions? On the same day? In the same meal? Now that is very interesting……do you have many people round for dinner? I do like the alignment of the onion slice against the nose of said celebrity. Nicely abstract. 🙂

    • Dave Whatt says:

      No, I never have people round for dinner.
      Also, hey! What’s wrong with Broccoli and onions may I ask?…

      • Oh nothing, nothing at all……its very healthy indeed. With me though, (putting it delicately) both have quite an adventure with my insides, so if I were to eat them together, I may very well implode! 😀 But its doing you good, so don’t mind me….I’ll just take my burps elsewhere!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Ah, right-ho dear Scribbler, I’m sorry to hear that. I used to have such issues, big time, but now I can eat big piles of mixed veg (steamed) in a meal without any trouble.
        (Further information on request…)

      • Yes, I use a bamboo steamer for my veg and it seems to have redressed the “problem”. Also, I stand corrected on the broccoli & onion meal thingy…..I did a check on various b&o recipes, and apparently there are tons of ’em! So instead of thinking you were just a quirky cook, it seems you are very much on trend. I need to rethink my meals 😀

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Oh, but I want to be a quirky cook!… Ho ho!…

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