Filed into a number of notches…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s interesting china teapot is the one shaped like the head of President Donald J Trump.

Come on dear reader! Let’s go back and visit the Britain of the mid 1950s. It was an interesting time, when post-WWII austerity was still lingering on, and when everything was still mostly in flickering black and white – except in America where the tanned smiling people and their big shiny cars were in gorgeous Technicolor.
Here the Gadgets Magazine was quite popular and was full of useful tips and things you could make yourself for the home and garden – the publishers even brought out an annual with all the best items from the previous twelve months. Here’s a picture of the title page – the book itself is far too drab to be featured.

Let’s have a quick thumb through and look at some of the items on offer from that year: An Easy Way of Changing Hot light Bulbs; An Effective Shaft Extractor; A Comfortable Pen Holder – A Sleeve of Rubber Tubing Does It!; Decorative Matchbox Covers; A Plastic Desk Companion – An Attractive Gift!; Drawing Pins as Pot-Menders, etc.
And how about on Page 110?

‘Albert… Albert!… Where are you?’
‘Yes, yes dear, I’m here!… Are you making a nice pot of tea? I’m quite parched.’
‘No, I’m just preparing the vegetables for this evening’s meal… I can’t seem to find my favourite kitchen knife though, I want to chop these carrots and broad beans for the… What in heaven’s name is the matter Albert?… Your mouth is hanging open like a…’
‘Oh, nothing Madge dear, I’m fine…er…’
‘What is it then?’
‘Do you like celery?’
‘Celery? You know I don’t, it gets in my teeth and…’
‘Is this something to do with my best knife?’
‘Well, er…’
‘Where is it Albert? What have you been doing with it?… I’ll bet this is something from that silly magazine of yours!…’
‘It’s not a silly magazine Madge, it’s very useful, and it’s full of practical wheezes and hints.’
‘Wheezes and hints?… Where’s my knife?!’
‘In the shed… You know, it’s surprisingly good quality steel that knife, quite resistant to filing… even with a… I’ll go and buy a new one from Threpley’s first thing tomorrow morning…’
‘Alright Albert… How about that cup of tea then?’
‘Good idea Madge!… I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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21 Responses to Filed into a number of notches…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    Wouldn’t mind an effective shaft extractor actually. Could you print the instructions?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      “A SUITABLE extractor for metal shafts or dowels is a length of tubing punched and ‘dimpled’ as shown in the sketch. This should be a close fit over the shaft or dowel. Force on past the ‘dimple’ when the withdrawing action will caused the triangular indent to grip the shaft firmly for easy removal.”
      Please do get back to me if you would like me to photograph the sketch for you.

      • Jheron Bash says:

        Only joking really! Sounds a bit of a faff. Anyway, I don’t actually have any shafts need extracting …
        Dana: have you got a grapefruit knife? That’s the thing. Little prep with it, then you can easily use a regular teaspoon. Garbage disposal units are not really a thing here in the lil’ ol’ UK. Well, we haven’t got one. Don’t imagine Dave has either! We do have grapefruit knives though, although doesn’t sound like Dave has one of those either. & we do have recycle bins for our garbage, though we don’t call it garbage. Or trash. It’s rubbish.
        Any comments Dave?

      • Dave Whatt says:

        No Jheron, you are doing fine…
        By the way, I didn’t think you’d really need a photo of the sketch for dealing with your stuck shafts or dowels.

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Yes, sunlight is an effective agent leading to the invention of creative fixes….for instance, I was in need of a grapefruit spoon – so I carefully placed a teaspoon, bowl first into the kitchen sink drain, so that the handle was pointing straight up, turned on the garbage disposal unit for exactly three seconds and wha-la…serrated spoon!!!! But, I didn’t write a book about it. I suppose that’s why I didn’t have a colored television until just before the Beatles aired on the Ed Sullivan Show in the 60’s. By the by, here in ‘merica the MAJORITY of the nation respects and honors our President, we understand your news media wants to you believe otherwise…why do you suppose that is?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Trumpy: It’s probably because we want our colony back from you rascals.
      But do you think your folk would buy a Trump-head-shaped china teapot? – I might get some made up and send ’em across…
      Well done on the grapefruit spoon Dana! Actually, I didn’t know there was such a thing as a special spoon for grapefruit!

    • As an aside, regarding Mr Trump – our media do take great relish in persuading us that his mission in life is just to blow everything up. Also the fact that the Whitehouse staff have taken to speaking in code to each other so as not to face the wrath of his verbal “fire and fury” is something else we are advised of…..At least Mr Obama ran around the place having fun šŸ˜€

      • Dana Doran says:

        Isn’t that precious? When they can’t report real news, they just make stuff up to tell you! The bit about the Whitehouse staff is not “fact.” I hope you’re not invested in it… don’t seem to be the Kool Aid drinking type!

      • I don’t believe anything the “news” tells me, period, haha!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        It’s the media, the journalists, who really want a nice, smallish, but manageable, nuclear war – you can hear it in their voices on the radio and TV – it would be a really great opportunity for 24 hour coverage, that could go on and on for months and years, as the radio-active fallout goes round the world one country at a time…
        Oops! Sorry Scribby… I really need a cup of tea…

      • Haha! I do think you are onto something there…..something exciting and not too devastating, that will keep them all in jobs for the next couple of years. Hmmm yes…..

  3. Madge is showing incredible patience with the fact that her husband has just tried to file down her best knife! šŸ™‚

    • Dave Whatt says:

      I think she’s slowly becoming resigned and accustomed to Albert’s ways.
      Me, I think she revels in ridiculing all this male tinkering-about-in-sheds silliness.

      • Yes, I can imagine her shaking her head indulgently and rolling her eyes at her “daft Albert” Do you use the word “apeth” down there? I seem to recall it being used on occasion in Yorkshire “ahhh ye daft apeth”

      • Dave Whatt says:

        ‘Apeth’ – is it pronounced ‘ape-eth’? As in half-penny-worth?… If so yes…

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