Stella and my favourite things…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s doubled up simile is – ‘As daft as two brushes…’
(Of course the insult ‘daft as a brush’ is slightly puzzling – someone once told me the original version was ‘Soft as a brush, and as wooden as the handle.’ where ‘soft’ meant stupid – as did ‘wooden’.)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

‘These are a few of my favourite things.’ (2010) Pencil on paper, probably about 16″ x 12″.

‘Ah Stella my dear, do come in! What a wonderful bright crisp September morning it is!’
‘Shut up, you oaf!’
‘Eh?’
‘David, you can see it’s overcast and muggy out there.’
‘Muggy eh?’
‘Yes muggy, get that kettle on, I’m proper parched!’
‘Proper parched? Why are you adopting northern working class lingo this morning? It doesn’t at all suit you.’
‘What the hell’s this?’
‘You always say that when you look at a piece of my work… and yes, the kettle has just boiled, I shall make tea…’
‘Do you have a battenberg?’
‘A what?… No, but I do have some digestives.’
‘Chocolate digestives?’
‘Yes my dear…’
‘Plain or milk David?’
‘Plain… and here’s you tea, the mug is quite full – don’t spill it, or stand it on top of my hi-fi, like you did the last time you…’
‘Hm… plain chocolate, they’ll have to do I suppose… You know, you shouldn’t degrade your art like this…’
‘Eh?… Degrade?’
‘Yes, doing comic pieces like this one… People of the art world won’t take you seriously David…’
‘Good!… I don’t want them to. Haven’t you noticed Stella, that in all the arts at the moment there is no humour – everything has to be so bloody cool! Look at pop music – they’d rather die than show a bit of warmth, humanity, or positive emotion…? In fact I’d say…’
‘It’s a song…’
‘What?’
These are a few of my…’
‘Yes, of course it is! That’s the point, It’s called irony Stella – and don’t drop crumbs on my carpet tiles! I’ve just been round with the Bissell!…’
You’re a bit house-proud all of a sudden! So, Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens… David.’
‘Gosh, you actually know the words – please don’t sing me any more though – that song brings me out in a rash…’
‘So, art is all too cool then? Why do you think that is?’
‘It’s because the people doing it are jumped-up bullshitters, who are shallow and untalented and think that to show a bit of warmth or humour would be sign of weakness, a small crack in their glossy facade, which could reveal the emptiness underneath. Look at artists like Miro, Picasso, Paolozzi, and Magritte, you can smile at their work, and feel that you have some contact with the artist. Stuff now, visual art and music, all seems to have been done by academics and accountants on some ghastly deliberately bland art production line…’
‘Any more biscuits?’
‘Just some two-week-old custard creams.’
‘Hm… alright…’

These are a few…
Eduardo Paolozzi.
Battenberg.
Bissell.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, composition, conversation, cool, creation, drawing, food, Grumpiness, humour, irony, painting, smiling, style, surrealism, thinking, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Stella and my favourite things…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    I think it’s very funny! I’m not sure what all those “things” are…but, I’m sure that’s what you intended! Oh the art world…..I’m at a loss to comment – since I’m really not part of it!

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Absolutely liberating….

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