One or two short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s quotation is from A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole:
Santa grabbed the picture on the mantelpiece, a photograph of an ancient and hostile-looking woman in a black dress and black stockings standing in a dark alley paved with oyster shells.
“Poor momma,” Santa said feelingly, giving the picture a loud, wet kiss. The grease on the glass that covered the photograph showed the frequency of these onslaughts…
“The only picture of you I got, momma, and you standing in an alley. Ain’t that a shame.”

Excuses for being late. No. 349.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to pick up an oaty half-bloomer on my way.

A single overheard (possibly misheard) remark:
‘We get so many slug pipes now…’

‘How do you like the rhythm for my new song?’
‘It sounds like it’s going, dimwit, nitwit, dimwit, nitwit, dimwit…
‘Oh, shut up!.’
‘How will the bass line go? Bummer bummer bummer bummer?… Ouch!.’

An observation:
It was late evening down a dimly lit back street; I spotted him as he was walking towards me. He was tall, young, muscular, shaved head, and wearing shorts and a t-shirt. He had a large black ‘gym-bag’ with him, but he wasn’t carrying it normally at his side by the handles, but was holding it horizontally in front of him at about waist level – from a distance and in silhouette it looked like he was wearing a black tutu… (tutu)

Uncle Dave’s advice to young artists:
1) Without an audience everything you do will be pointless.
2) Aim low and you will be popular, aim high and you might find just a few bright people who like your things.

Are you ready for an item of spam from this morning’s comments box dear reader?
This one seems to be from someone called Derrekzi:
Although it may be astonishing to a few individuals, darkish dark chocolate is the best way to give your skin layer added protective vitamins and minerals. Despite the fact that dairy delicious chocolate is regrettably not nearly as great, darker delicious chocolate is extremely good in aiding your skin shield by itself. Even so, we don’t advise eat a variety of it in a resting, but remember this very next time you wish to take a dairy dark chocolate treat.
Well Derrekzi, thank you very much for this fine information, but I really have no need of darkish dark, as my skin is lovely anyway – but do feel free to get in touch again any time!

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Jenny Say-Quah.

Today’s song that it’s really uncool to like is I Should be so Lucky by Kylie Minogue.

A single overheard (possibly misheard) remark:
‘My nose is running back with me Carol…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, books, conversation, cool, creation, Dulltown, existentialism, Hull.UK., humour, information, misheard, music, observations, overheard, reading, serendipity, surrealism, Uncategorized, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to One or two short, but pithy items…

  1. ktz2 says:

    I could look it up but I’ll ask you instead. . what’s a half-bloomer? a new one on me

  2. Rebecca says:

    Being uncool is my speciality, but that’s a stretch too far. 🙂

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