When cool, add the musk…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s dictionary words are: chawdron, chasuble, chassepot, chasmogamy, chausses, and bilimbi. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Should the professor turn up wearing a brightly coloured close-fitting Lycra cycling outfit, with matching helmet, you should not let this distract you from your studies; it might also be beneficial for you to mention how young and slim the professor is looking.
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It smells of something… It’s a funny, old-fashioned sort of smell… and not too pleasant…
The book that is – I just opened it and it arose from the old yellowed pages. Yes, I think the smell is that of cough medicine, it has a hint of bitumen about it. I expect that many years ago when someone was consulting the book, The Daily Express Enquire Within (1934), looking for cough and cold remedies they accidentally dripped or even sneezed some of their medicine into it… Hm…

Anyway, here is a picture of the title page – nice emblem isn’t it? I suppose this book was the Google of its day – everything that a nice middle class British family needed to know in order to run their lives efficiently was contained between these covers. Shall we dip in and have a look dear reader? Across the head of each page is printed a proverb or some pithy words of wisdom – I will include some of these with today’s selection:

Page 70. (Thrive by honesty, or remain poor.)
Half-Pay Pudding.
Four ounces of each of the following ingredients, viz. suet, flour, currants, raisins, and bread crumbs; two tablespoons of treacle, half a pint of milk – all of which must be well mixed together, and boiled in a mould, for four hours.

Page 361. (Beginning and ending shake hands.)
Hints to Shopkeepers.
viii. Civility.
A kind and obliging manner carries with it an indescribable charm. It must not be a manner which indicates a mean, grovelling, time-serving spirit, but a plain, open, and agreeable demeanour, which seems to desire to oblige for the pleasure of doing so, and not for the sake of squeezing an extra penny out of a customer’s pocket.

Page 451. (Every man’s house is his castle.)
To Stuff Birds, Animals, &c.
Preservative soap. – An excellent preservative soap may be made of the following ingredients: one and a half pounds of whiting, half a pound of white soap, half an ounce of chloride of lime, half an ounce of tincture of musk. Boil the soap and whiting in one pint of water until soap is dissolved. Pound the chloride of lime in a mortar and add to the mixture while hot, stirring the while. When cool, add the musk. Care should be taken not to inhale the fumes when stirring.

Page 183. (A cow consumes 100 pounds of green food daily.)
Rules of Whist.
xv. The penalty for a revoke – either by wrongfully trumping the suit led, or by playing the card of another suit – is the loss of three tricks; but no revoke can be claimed till the cards are abandoned, and the trick turned.
[Revokes forfeit three tricks from the hand or score, or opponents may add three to their score; partner may ask and correct a trick if not turned; the revoking side cannot score out in that deal.]

Page 421. (Money is a good servant but a bad master.)
Ground Glass Imitated.
The frosted appearance of ground glass may be very nearly imitated by gently dabbing the glass over with a pint brush dipped in white paint or any other oil colour. The paint should be thin, and but very little colour taken up at one time on the end of the bristles. When applied with a light even touch the resemblance is considerable.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, books, cool, finance, food, history, humour, information, instruction, reading, serendipity, surrealism, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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