Just one or two short but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s elephant in the room is the one upsetting everyone by squirting water from the fish tank around the place with her trunk.

Excuses for being late. No. 356.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I mislaid my shin guards.

A single overheard remark:
‘No Jane, it’ll be a generic shirt…’

‘Did the bishop just mention something about the spire alarm, or was it the spiral arm?’
‘Sorry… What?…’
‘Oh never mind…’

He had the sort of upper lip that was crying out for a large ginger moustache.

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Q. P. Doll.

‘Are the brownies nice today?’
‘Yes, pretty good.’
‘Only I see that you’ve left the corner of one on your plate.’
‘Yes, I have.’
‘Are you full up?’
‘Not really.’
‘You see I…’
‘Can I have it?’
‘I suppose so, but…’
‘Mm… very nice! What were you saying?’
‘Oh, it doesn’t matter.’
‘No no, come on, I interrupted. I do apologise!’
‘Your apology is accepted. It was the first corner I cut off with my fork.’
‘Oh yes?’
‘Yes, and it jumped off the plate, bounced across the table, and dropped onto the cafe floor.’
‘Oh…  Right… So, why did you…’
‘Pick the dirty piece up, and put it back on my plate after I’d eaten the rest of the brownie?’
‘Well, I didn’t like the idea of someone standing on it, and…’
‘…and it sticking to their shoe, and then being trodden into the carpet?’
‘That’s it…’

I wonder if there’s any spam freshly landed in my comments box today? Oh, yes, here’s an item, it seems to be from someone called Donaldpy:
If you are considering moving sport fishing within an sea or difficult normal water, use a seasickness medicine such as Bonine to ensure you don’t become ill. The surest way to destroy a angling trip is simple by getting seas ill so you are not able to sea food. Go to your community local pharmacy to see the choices offered in your area.
Well thank you Donaldpy, your message came just in time, I am about to go within an difficult sea in the next few days. Your information will be of great benefit, and I do look forward to hearing from you again soon.

An observation:
All the people in town today had faces, and were striking postures, like characters in Lord Leighton paintings. Click.

A single overheard remark:
‘Don’t touch me face… don’t touch me foundation!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, cafe, conversation, drama, Dulltown, existentialism, food, Hull.UK., humour, information, observations, painting, people, serendipity, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Just one or two short but pithy items…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    I’ll never take a brownie scrap from someone’s plate again…unless I get the whole story up front. have a great weekend Dave.

  2. Dana Doran says:

    I do love a good brownie story. Ah, Bonine! I used to book big game fishing trips for a captain friend of mine in Lahaina….amazing how many people will spend $1000 for an 8 hour fishing trip knowing they are going to turn green, develop nausea and vomit the entire time, so that they can try to reel in the big one. haha.

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