Below the rim of the glass proper…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s ancient Egyptian deity is one appearing in the form of either two lions back to back, or a tract of land with a lion or human head at each end, the god Aker. His attributes are: Earth, and the East and West horizons of the underworld. (Aker)

What year are we in now?…
Come on! Let’s pretend, just for a minute, that it’s 1954 – we live in Britain, we wear tweeds a lot, everything is in black and white, and that we are a little bit creative, and that we are also very ‘handy about the house’…
Oh, what was that gentle thud from the hall? Aha! The evening paper and the latest edition of Gadgets Magazine, have just popped through the letterbox! I can’t wait to learn its latest money-saving wheezes, and see the nice gadgets it has for its readers to construct!
Here’s a picture of the title page of their collection of the previous year’s most thrilling gadgets – this is another of my cheap junk shop books:

Shall we have a quick thumb through and get a feel of the thing? There are three or four items on each page: Brighten Up Your Old Car with Coloured Cellulose Tape, An Easily Made Foot Switch, Try This Stencil Method to Emboss Plastic Sheeting, A Popular De-rusting Process, A Mounted Cork Pin Cushion, A Novel Pencil Sharpener, An Easy Fix for Rubber Bands…
Oh, but what’s this on page 154?…

‘I suppose you’d call it rustic…’
‘What was that Albert?’
‘Oh sorry dear, was I talking out loud?’
‘Yes, did you mean thinking out loud?’
‘Yes, Madge dear, that’s it – that’s what I must have been doing.’
‘What are you reading?’
‘It’s my Gadgets Magazine.’
‘Oh, that silly thing, it’s a waste of money, it’s full of…’
‘No, dear it’s not silly at all, it’s very interesting!’
‘I’ll bet you didn’t know that you can convert ordinary drinking glasses into ones that look…’
‘Yes, as if it’s carved out of solid wood!’
‘Solid wood?… Albert.’
‘Yes, dear?’
‘They are very stylish – look, you can have walnut, or some similar attractive shade…’
‘Wooden drinking glasses?’
‘Yes dear, it says they are hygienic!’
‘Let me see a picture of them.’
‘I do have a tube of plastic wood somewhere in the shed, I don’t think it will have dried out yet, and…’
‘Pardon dear?’
‘Ah… Right-ho Madge.’
‘Now, let’s see what’s on the wireless… Put your silly magazine away Albert, and pass me the Radio Times…’
‘Yes dear…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, books, brain, conversation, creation, history, humour, instruction, religion, style and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Below the rim of the glass proper…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    This magazine is fabulous, I guess it’s a little like Popular Mechanics here in the US.

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