Ugg and Lugg and the logs…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s apple cart is the one that’s just ever so slightly perturbed…

‘Ugg… Ugg!…’
‘Eh?… What?…’
‘Wake up you idiot! You were chuckling and yelping in your sleep, like a stuck antelope.’
‘Like an antelope? Was I Lugg?… I had a strange vision.’
‘A vision? No you didn’t, only Old Wise Man Bugg has visions, we have dreams Ugg.’
‘I suppose so…’
‘What was your dream about?’
‘Well I think it must have been caused by seeing Glugg yesterday.’
‘Glugg? What did he do?’
‘Didn’t you see him Lugg? He was sitting on a big log on the hillside…’
‘You dreamed about Glugg sitting on a log?’
‘No, no, the log slipped on the loose stones and went straight down Big Hill with Glugg on it – right into that big pile of mammoth offal.’
‘Is he dead?’
‘Pity… He’s an idiot! So, your dream then?’
‘I dreamed the future Lugg.’
‘The future? What’s that?’
‘I’m not sure… It seems to be like the past, but different… Anyway, my vision…’
‘Oh yes, my dream, it had things in it that were a bit like Glugg’s log, they were moving about the place, with people on them…’
‘No!… People on them?’
‘Yes, and not only on them, but inside them, looking out of holes cut in the sides.’
‘That’s stupid Ugg!’
‘I know, but do you want to hear some more?’
‘No I don’t!… Go back to sleep, the sun’s not through the cave door yet – and you’ve got to knap a new flint axe for Big Chief Smugg in the morning.’
‘Oh yes, so I have… So, these moving logs were very useful, they were pulling other logs, and big stones, and dead mammoths about.’
‘With none of the lads pulling on ropes?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Idiot! I’ll give you a good knock with my club if you don’t stop all this nonsense right now!’
‘They had logs that float on water too Lugg.’
‘Everybody knows that logs float on water Ugg!’
‘Yes, but these were going across Big River and back again – with people on them!’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Ugg, it’s common knowledge that nobody can cross Big River and live – it’s a well known fact!’
‘Ah, right…’
‘Hang on Ugg.’
‘These things, crossing the river, and moving about the place…’
‘They looked like logs?’
‘You just said they did!’
‘Well Lugg, I… Ouch! That hurt!’
‘If they weren’t logs, what were they then?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything like them – they were about the size of a big log,  but… Ouch!…’
‘Anything else?’
‘Well, they did have some smoke coming out of them.’
‘Yes, they must have had fires inside them – as if they were turning hotness into movement…’
‘Oh Ugg! Have you been eating those leaves from Old Wise Man Bugg’s magic bush again?’
‘No, of course not… anyway, I was thinking that tomorrow morning I might light a fire and…’
‘And what?’
‘Well you know when you balance a gourd of water on the fire, and the water starts to bubble, and move, and jump about…’
‘Does it?’
‘Oh yes, every time – I was thinking that if I could… Ouch!…’
‘That’s enough of talk like that! You’ll get in trouble with the God of fire and the God of water! No more visions!… Alright?…’
‘Alright Lugg, I’ll make a start on the Big Chief Smugg’s axe instead…’
‘I should think so…’

And so engineering and the concept of powered transport were successfully nipped in the bud…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, conversation, drama, dreaming, history, humour, learning, religion, science, surrealism, thinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Ugg and Lugg and the logs…

  1. Oh how I have missed Ugg & Lugg! This was a lovely read 🙂

  2. Sharon Mann says:

    What I want to know is what were you eating before you wrote this very funny dialogue? Thanks for a good hearty laugh to start my day.

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