Famous…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s dictionary words are: frigorific, freemartin, fremd, frijole, friable, frescade, and warhable. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Should the professor turn up barefoot you must take off your shoes and socks and place them outside in the corridor – however, you must not allow this inconvenience distract you from your studies. Extra marks will be awarded for nicely trimmed toe nails.
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‘So… how is it, that some people become famous?’
‘Maybe they are just lucky…’
‘Hm… I expect so.’
‘How’s that boiled egg?’
‘Very nice.’
‘Not too hard?’
‘No.’
‘Or too soft?’
‘No no… I suppose it all depends on what they do then.’
‘Who?…’
‘Famous people… Muhammad Ali, I’ve heard of him – he was famous.’
‘Yes, he was, very famous.’
‘So, what was he famous for?’
‘Hitting people.’
‘Really?’
‘Oh yes, apparently he was very good at that – and avoiding being hit back, of course.’
‘Hm…’
‘Another slice of toast?’
‘Alright… Good at hitting people… Who’d have thought it?’
‘Here you are, not too much butter on it I hope?’
‘No, no, I like butter – So, this hitting people thing…’
‘I think I know what you are going to say…’
‘You do?’
‘You are going to ask how he could become famous by hitting people.’
‘Yes… How did he?’
‘It was because other people, lots and lots of them, really liked to watch him hitting people…’
‘Right… So, what about, say, David Beckham?’
‘What about him?’
‘Well, he didn’t hit people did he?… Or did he?’
‘I don’t think so. He used to kick things.’
‘Things?’
‘Well, balls, for instance…’
‘I see… and did people like to watch him do that?’
‘Oh yes, they loved it!… Would you like some jam on that remaining half slice?’
‘Strawberry?’
‘No, raspberry.’
‘Alright, thank you… Lewis Hamilton?…’
‘Well, he…’
‘No, don’t tell me – people like to watch him drive his car around?’
‘Exactly!… Nice jam?’
‘Perfect!’
‘You know, I think I might do some more toast…’
‘Good idea!’
‘Do you like golf?’
‘Does anyone?’
‘Oh yes, some golfers are very famous.’
‘Are they?’
‘The balls they hit are smaller than David Beckham’s – they use clubs to hit them.’
‘No!…’
‘Yes they do…’
‘Usain Bolt…’
‘Pardon?’
‘He’s very famous, isn’t he?’
‘Yes, people like to watch him run about.’
‘Why?’
‘Here we are, toast, butter, and honey.’
‘Honey… Nice!… I don’t think that anyone would like to watch, if I started running about.’
‘But have you tried?…’
‘Well no… But, how about Her Majesty the Queen – she’s very very famous – does she hit people much?’
‘I don’t think so, except perhaps Prince Philip – ho-ho!…’
‘So what is she famous for?’
‘Well, for being herself I suppose, she’s a treasure… Famousness has been handed down from generation to generation, it’s all in the family you know.’
‘Nice toast and bee-honey this!… So, all the famousness is handed down then?’
‘Look, you’ve got honey on the front of your jumper – here, have a tissue.’
‘Oh, messy me!… Hang on… I think I have it!’
‘Oh?…’
‘Yes, I reckon the Queen’s ancestors used to hit people quite a lot, and they became famous for it – mainly because other people liked to watch folk being hit, and…’
‘And it’s been handed down through the generations! That’s it!’
‘Yes… and I’ll bet she still keeps her hand in with Philip though – ho-ho!…’
‘Indeed!… By the way…’
‘What?’
‘Aren’t bees clever?’
‘Oh, brilliant are bees…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, celebrities, conversation, drama, history, humour, information, learning, surrealism, thinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Famous…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    Lovely, listening in on the conversation this morning. Yesterday, I was at the bookstore and I was listening in on several conversations between the the aisles. I thought of you Dave, you would have been taking notes. Heehee

  2. Mohammed Ali came to my town many years ago (he was 23 at the time) and got booed. I think he didn’t fight very well because he was tired from his world tour (who would have thought this old town was worthy of a stop off point, heh!) And toad with honey, very nice. A favourite of mine. 🙂

  3. wait….wait…TOAST with honey, duh!

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