Stella and the item of found apparel…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s wrinkled old black and white snapshot is the one of me and Marlon Brando sitting eating cheese sandwiches on the set of Streetcar Named Desire in 1950 – I was remarking to him what a funny first name ‘Marlon’ is, and that I didn’t know anyone else called Marlon.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Red Things (1994). Fluorescent paint (?), pastel, and pencil crayon on paper, probably about 24″ x 18″.

‘Come on! Open this bloody door David, it’s a like a ‘othouse out here!’
‘A hothouse Stella?’
‘Yes you nitwit, let me in! I need water, then tea and nice cakes!’
‘Goodness me, that’s an unusual sun hat Stella my dear – it’s very, er, bright isn’t it?’
‘Shut up you oaf! I found it on the pavement near the bus stop. Give me water!’
‘Here…’
‘What’s this?’
‘Water.’
‘Don’t you have any in the fridge? This is luke!’
‘Luke?’
‘Yes, get the kettle on then, what in god’s name is that?’
‘It’s a drawing of mine Stella, a fairly early one.’
‘Fairly early? What’s it supposed to be?’
‘It isn’t supposed to be…’
‘I hope you’ve got some decent cakes in!’
‘How about Cadbury’s Mini-Rolls? They’re slightly out of sell-by date though.’
‘So what are the ‘red things’?’
‘It’s a mystery Stella…’
‘Hm… That sounds like deliberate obfuscation to me David!’
‘Eh?…’
‘Where’s that promised mug brimming with Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea? Oh, good!… Give it here, thank you…’
‘You’re most welcome. So, that yellow sun hat with spots on it, very stylish!’
‘Shut up!’
‘I expect some old lady lost it getting on the bus – you should have hung it on the railings, in case she…’
‘Just shut up! So, I suppose you’d call it ‘abstract’ then?’
‘Would I?’
‘What would you call it? These Mini-Rolls taste alright, not at all stale David.’
‘Good.’
‘I can see it’s all about perspective, both linear and aerial, it’s quite playful.’
‘Playful?… No, it isn’t!’
‘What is it about then? Good tea this!’
‘It isn’t about anything…’
‘Of course it is! It has to be.’
‘Does it?’
‘Yes, is it plastic on the beach, even in 1994?’
‘Oh, possibly…’
‘Hm, I think it’s another of your things with human-made geometric objects, bright gewgaws dropped into the poor unsuspecting throbbing fecund natural world…’
‘Did you just say fecund?’
‘Yes.’
‘I don’t think it’s fecund Stella – oh, watch out!’
‘Damn!’
‘Hm, you know you shouldn’t try to dunk Mini-Rolls in hot tea.’
‘Shut up!…’
‘Look, some of it has gone on your smart new hat…’

(CMRs)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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16 Responses to Stella and the item of found apparel…

  1. Stella always gets rather excitable when she is eating and dunking, doesn’t she? And those red things look like shiny red springs from something like a broken gate. Also, there was an abject online apology made by Yorkshire Tea, whereby, in celebration of Tea Day, they showed a picture of a pretty teapot pouring tea into a cup which already had milk in it. The “audacity” of that had the internet in an uproar, and they were forced to apologise and remove the offending picture! How do you make tea Dave….? If you had milk, I mean….is it milk first then tea, or tea first then milk? 🙂

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Well, isn’t life complicated sometimes?
      According to Jheron the milk was in the teapot with the tea! – what! – and it was not part of the “milk in first” row at all – me, I never saw the bloody thing anyway. Phew!
      Me, thankfully I have green tea – a cup with a bag in it at home, and a bag in a pot in the cafe – no milk was harmed during the making of this tea… Phew again!…

      • The pic I saw didn’t have milk, but its Scottish news, and they never report English stuff properly *rolls eyes*. I stand corrected, apologised to Jheron, and I think he is off to make a proper cuppa now. 🙂

      • Dave Whatt says:

        I think I’m even more confused now – but then, I’m just an innocent bystander in all this milky tea business…

  2. Dana Doran says:

    I feel like I should say something more than “wowsers….I really it!” I’m without words this morning….but I do like it!

  3. Jheron Bash says:

    I thought the offensive teapot picture was shown in celebration of Yorkshire Day. God’s own county, eh? I certainly don’t think they put milk in the TEAPOT in Yorkshire! The trouble with having no stage directions is a cup of tea appears to make itself in a matter of seconds. Only saying …. I’m picking nits today.

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Jheron, you are just stirring the tea!…
      Do you want stage directions?… It’s not a bloody play you know!…

    • I’m a Yorkshire lass who is subject, sadly, to the negligence of Scottish news. Having read the *correct* version, I apologise. I will maintain however, that the tea I saw being poured from the teapot was pure tea, and the ensuing comments concerned themselves with the correct way of tea making. So gather up your nits, Jheron, and put the kettle on. No sugar for me thanks 🙂

      • Jheron Bash says:

        Me neither – and fully skimmed milk, please. Milk in the CUP before the tea. My tea of choice, by the way, is indeed Taylor’s of Harrogate Yorkshire tea. Just like Stella

      • Oh please no….FULLY skimmed milk?? You need a bit of “oomph” in your milk, although just a tad. Although, yes, I also have milk in the cup before the tea is poured (much to the chagrin of my household). Also….just had a quick peek over at your blog and the cup of raspberries had me laughing! 🙂

  4. Sharon Mann says:

    Wow, awesome art, I like no matter what Stella says.

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