This is not art. No. 30…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s instruction is to lay it flat on the bench, round off the four corners using a rasp and your half round bastard file (HRBF) – use winding sticks (WS) to check for flatness – take the surface down with several grades of glass-paper (GP) until perfectly smooth – now dust it off with a soft brush and slide the palms of your hands backwards and forwards over it saying, ‘Hmmmm… Hmmmm…’ in a husky sensual voice.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wow!… Isn’t this beautiful!…
Oh, sorry dear reader, we’re not supposed to use the word ‘beautiful’ any more when describing art, are we? Even if it is… Which this, in my opinion, is.
For me it has everything required: subtle and delicate colour, interesting form, the way it constrains itself to an implied and invisible rectangle, texture, just look at those flaky pale grey vertical tatters in the lower third, the way the piece veers away from being purely abstract as soon as the viewer spots the eye of the sinister blue beast peering through – is it inviting us in, or repelling us?  And of course the insubstantial letters of text sitting there defying us to make sense of them, and finally, the almost obscene stinking earthy brown of the substrate…

So, I was walking down by the side of a cheapskate takeaway pizza shop on a Dulltown housing estate when this caught my eye; it was low on the wall; it was obviously the spot where posters were occasionally displayed. The blue beast is on the last poster that had been put up there, what it might be advertising I can’t guess, I hope nothing to do with the ingredients of their pizzas! (Should that be ‘pizze’?)
It’s pretty dynamic isn’t it? I wonder if it’s still there? I think I might have caught it at its best don’t you?…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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8 Responses to This is not art. No. 30…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    Top notch, Dave. One of your best yet.
    I notice you say this particular piece of “This is not Art” is Art! Well, I should say so. This is Art then.

  2. Jheron Bash says:

    Hey-ho! Still, good work Dave. I like this one a lot.

  3. Sharon Mann says:

    At first glance I thought this was one of your dynamic art creations. I hope you got a piece of pizza on this art finding journey.

  4. David Manley says:

    “I wish I’d done that” as Pablo said to Georges…and (controversial this) Jackson said to Lee…

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