A few short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s carefully selected colours are: optical orange, sucking sienna, bamboo blue, groaning green, ridiculous red, and the odd colour of the curtains at number twenty-three down the road.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Excuses for being late. No. 391.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I was WD40-ing all my zips.

A single overheard remark:
‘The biggest no is this, Geoff…’

‘I hear that you do a lot of pencil drawing.’
‘Yes, I do…’
‘So would you call yourself a line manager?’
‘Oh, I suppose so, but I don’t manage them quite as well as I might… What are line managers anyway?’
‘I don’t know, I imagine that they manage some sort of line. That job title always sounds pretty impressive though, doesn’t it?’
‘S’pose so…’
‘I don’t think I’d like to be one though…’
‘No, me neither…’

A misheard announcement on the train:
‘When leaving the train please make sure that you take all of your personal problems with you…’

‘Darling, what’s the weather forecast for Christmas?’
‘Reindeer…’

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting writing and pondering on life in my favourite cafe. A couple of chaps came and sat at a large rectangular table nearby and were soon joined by several more, both young and old, bearing trays of hot beverages. They started talking in what sounded to me like Chinese. They were doing plenty of ejaculating and laughing and they quickly began having a great time – but they were really really loud. I suppose conversational public loudness is a cultural thing, China is probably a very loud place. I decided that I was being a bit unreasonable being upset by their intrusive cheery banter, so I put my pen and notebook away, leaned back, closed my eyes, and imagined I was a minor character in a Jackie Chan film. (Click here)

I’m in the mood for spam! Let’s see what gem has recently flopped wriggling into my comments box. Aha! Here’s a nicely written item from someone called Jimmy:
I am sure this article has touched all the internet users, its really fastidious paragraph on building up new webpage. I have been surfing on-line for three
hours
as of late, yet I by no means discovered any interesting article
like yours. It’s beautiful worth enough for me. In my opinion,
if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you did,
the web will be a lot more helpful than ever before. It is very effortless to find out any matter on net as compared to books as I found this piece of writing.

Well, thank you very much Jimmy, I find myself basking in your lavish praise. Do not hesitate to get in touch again.

Yes, I think I’ll be changing my name to Nivea Lotion.

A single overheard remark:
‘Well it looks like a tapir Karl!…’ (click here)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in adjectives, brain, colours, conversation, Dulltown, existentialism, Film, Hull.UK., humour, observations, overheard, serendipity, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A few short, but pithy items…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    My favorite is the misheard train announcement. And, I do like your solution in the restaurant. I hope you are having a lovely Sunday.

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