Just a few small, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s unusual pencil sharpener is the one shaped like a large threatening cumulonimbus.

Excuses for being late. No. 392.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had a bit of trouble with my sump.

A rather mysterious single overheard remark:
‘You see, their relationship with the living is…’

‘You know, this year it doesn’t feel, you know, very Christmassy…’
‘Yes, it does. Look at those miserable and stressed looking Christmas shoppers barging into each other, and shoving each other out of the way in the checkout queue, and the drunks in the street smashing bottles and shouting insults at each other, and all the cars and buses tear-arseing around town ignoring the red lights, and…’
‘Alright, yes, yes, you’re right, it really is quite Christmassy…’

An observation.
How to attract attention when saying ‘thank you’ to the staff in banks and posh shops:
Always try to pitch the ‘you’ an octave above the ‘thank’.

An observation:
Everyone in town today was walking along looking sideways whilst vigorously chewing something.

Do you like Bo Diddley? I do.
Here’s a strange track with some jolly banter in the form of a random stream of insults – this is known as the ‘Dozens‘.
(Click here to listen.)

Me, at the counter in Waterstones bookshop cafe here in Dulltown:
‘Do you do ordinary green tea, or is it still that one with the ginseng in it?’
‘It’s got ginseng in it.’
‘Oh right… It’s really horrible… I’ll have a normal black tea then, oh, and one of those brownies please.’
(People in the queue and at nearby tables turned and stared, as if I had just transgressed the bounds of common decency.)

Spammage in the comments box:
Here is a slightly Christmassy item of spam from someone called Wnews.com:
Lee and Larry c herished their sixth birthday party. Although
they were twins. And with their birthdays coming in December, Mommy and Daddy also made
certain their birthdays were particular
although Christmas was proper around the corner. The get together was so enjoyable
with a clown and cake and songs and fantastic presents from their associates.
It went by so quick howev e r earlier than they knew it, everybody had
gone residence and it was time to clean up and get ready for bed.
Well Wnews.com, thank you for sharing this interesting anecdote, it sounds like it was a wonderful day – it’s a pity that everyone had gone residence so early though. Do not hesitate to get in touch again, I do like this sort of thing!…

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Norma Nin-Vayders.

A single overheard remark:
‘He rolls on the carpet to get the smell of it…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in blues, conversation, cool, drama, Dulltown, existentialism, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, music, observations, overheard, people, serendipity, surrealism, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Just a few small, but pithy items…

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