This is not art. No. 34…

But first…
Today’s instruction is to fold the external flaps inwards to form a symmetrical diamond pattern, and then press them flat with a gloved hand; put a blob of silicone sealant in the centre, and only then open the packet of sawdust and wood shavings (supplied) and sprinkle them evenly over the surface, but taking special care to avoid the area of the central blob. Drink strong tea and smoke at least two cigarettes before continuing. Using a large plastic funnel as a megaphone sing a Leonard Cohen song (perhaps The Sisters of Mercy) to it from each of the cardinal points of the compass, for at least twenty minutes.

No, really it is not art:

One must commend the artist, who apparently wishes to remain anonymous, for his or her patience – for this fine piece of work has obviously been very time-consuming in its preparation and execution. It captures and puts to aesthetic use the relentless degrading effect of that all-pervading gas, which surrounds us humans as we scrape out our existence on this soiled and despoiled small planet, the gas, which eventually causes the demise of us all – is of course, oxygen.
What a poignant piece this is; the man-made steel sheet, its iron oxidising away, the man-made cheerfully coloured paint, now dimpled and pockmarked like the belly of an old dog; the inclusion in the composition of an inviting and well-used keyhole, no, dear reader, we do not have the key – we lost the key long ago – our only option is to wait and watch Mother Nature turn our puny piece of urban street furniture into a temporary heap of red and green wind blown dust…

No, you see, I think this thing is something to do with the Dulltown Council, or is it the telephone or the electricity people? I expect there are old crusty wires doing their secret buzzy business behind this metal door. But look at those nice rich colours, I couldn’t resist taking a quick picture as I toddled past it a few weeks ago.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in abstract, academia, archeology, art, creation, Dulltown, Hull.UK., humour, information, instruction, painting, photography, physics, science, seeing, serendipity and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to This is not art. No. 34…

  1. ktz2 says:

    The shape looks vaguely like a map of the US, only missing Florida, which is fine. That aside, I enjoy the total effect, especially the little dots.
    Nice find !

  2. Cohen! Maybe… “The Future”.

    Looks interesting, could be dadaistic art…

  3. Sharon Mann says:

    Another hidden treasure in Dulltown. Happy New Year!

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