Just a few short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s elephant in the room is the one busy rearranging and dusting all the ornaments on the mantelpiece and sideboard using her trunk and a feather duster.

Excuses for being late. No. 396.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to change all the valves in my Fender Twin Reverb. (FTR)

A single overheard remark:
‘Me and my wife got used to a haddock…’

Of course the purists never liked that disco cover version of that classic soul song when it came out in 1979, but I did! Oh, it’s so noisy-noisy and boisterous, and then you get those icy chunks of total silence carefully slotted into it too, not to mention the juicy squelchy noises and the bassline, and the horns stabbing away willy-nilly – phew! (Click here)

Friday, in the cafe – 4.30 pm:
Pot of green tea and chocolate brownie. There are three babies with attached parents at three separate tables in different parts of the room. The babies seem to be taking it in turns to scream as loud as they can. They have been doing this for fifteen or twenty minutes. As one baby quietens down another seems to get the message and takes over. Ah, the parents of one are packing up their camp and leaving. Oh dear, but on their way out they are met by another couple and baby rolling in. I’m sure the new one will quickly get into the swing of the thing and carry on the vocal work with its new pals…

‘How do Dutch people sneeze?’
‘Eh? Oh, do they go Utrecht!… Utrecht!…?’
‘Hm… possibly…’

Anybody want some spam, fresh from my comments box?…
As usual I will glue two short sticky pieces together for you – these are from a couple of people who are apparently called Jamesk and livezz:
Ensure that you hold the position adjustments set beforehand so that you can lessen the anxiety you will have while you are bringing your meals towards the desk. Substantial stress levels tend not to combine well while you are food preparation, due to the hazard, so you will have to decrease this whenever possible. Recently I wrote and published an enchanting short story on Amazon’s Kindle. From that day for both of them will have their own own need. This exactly where by you express preferred wishes for your content handful of.
Well, thank you Jamesk and livezz, I will certainly bear in mind what you two rascals have said – especially the part about the anxiety caused when approaching desks holding food. And good luck with your enchanting story – Im sure it will turn out out to be a handful of.

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Bess Tother-Bunch.

A single overheard remark:
‘Then suddenly I was covered with fucking fruit and veg!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in cafe, conversation, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, food, Grumpiness, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, music, overheard, people, serendipity, spam, surrealism, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Just a few short, but pithy items…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    Ah yes, very pithy today…I hope you enjoyed your tea and brownie despite the screaming babies.

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