My empty wine glass was filled up again…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s expletive is one that cleverly uses the name of a Welsh town to do a bit of ‘effing and blinding‘ without causing too much offence – Llanfairfechan Hell! (L)
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So, one afternoon in February, when the sky is dark, the weather is wet and miserable, you might think it would be a good idea to spend half an hour with a cup of tea and a slice or two of hot buttered toast in the front of a glowing TV. Now then, let’s see what’s on? We’ll flick around the channels: miserable news from around the stupid world; some silly men running about on surprisingly green grass kicking a ball; a programme about people buying crap at a car boot sale and trying to sell it to someone else; an episode of Columbo that I have seen so many times that I know all the actor’s lines before they say them; a quiz show featuring two or three plump permanently sweating and grinning members of the public in front of scenery lit with flashing violet and orange lights… Aha! How about Channel 68? TruTV – me, I like things that are true! Just starting on it is a show called Ghosts in My Home – super! I’ll get glued to that for a few minutes. Oh, some words have just flashed up on the screen, they say, This Program is for Entertainment Purposes Only. That kind of undermines the whole ethos of the show don’t you think? Still, never mind.
I reckon I might jot down some of the things that the troubled home owners and the whispering, but enthusiastic psychic researchers intone over their darkly-lit spooky visuals. Gosh, what fun this is!…

I feel that I’m always being watched – it is always in the basement! – but she eventually recovered from the spiritual bombardment – intense! – I have tingles all over me! – the sudden high-pitched squeal of the alarm clock – the volume of the TV went up and down – and this won’t stop at electronics – yes, it was moving the furniture about in the night – it’s now in the back yard! – the sound of radio feedback – my empty wine glass was filled up again! – and the people ran out of the front door terrified – I could feel the presence of malevolence – I was thrown to the floor – the heat sensors were reacting – it was in the dead of night – the dowsing rods are now crossed – entity, can you tell me your name? – what the hell!…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, drama, expletives, humour, information, mind, observations, religion, sweating, TV, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to My empty wine glass was filled up again…

  1. ktz2 says:

    oooh! Fun random phrases to throw together .. ‘I could feel the presence of malevolence – it’s now in the back yard! The spiritual bombardment won’t stop at electronics. I have tingles all over me, always in the basement!

  2. Sharon Mann says:

    Glad to see you are using TV for a worthy pursuit! haha

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