Mail Art Postcard. No. 4551…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s joke is the one about that Conservative politician – well actually it’s not really a joke – it’s just a very stylish picture of him. (Click here for JRM)

Aha, another of my mail art postcards. a simple collage on fairly bright card using clippings from that trashy British TV listings magazine What’s On TV.

Are you getting tired of these ‘stuck-on eyes’ cards dear reader? I’m not, I’m confident that they’ll run and run, as they say in the theatre world.
Once again, I have no idea who these people are, but by the shape of the chap’s shirt collar I think these two must be in another of those very popular ‘period’ TV dramas, that we British apparently ‘do so very well’. Is that a black hat she’s got on? Perhaps we are at a funeral – she looks suitably troubled, but also preoccupied, and he looks just a little bit concerned, and possibly a tad puzzled. Shall we imagine a few lines of dialogue for them?

Oh, Vanessa, I’m sure it will all turn out alright in the end – I know life for you is hell at present – what with this damn war and everything – but just think ahead… Should the series take off big-time in the USA – you know, just think of the royalty cheques popping through your letterbox all through the summer, and then you can think about doing pantomime in Middlesbrough again next winter… You know you love that!…
(Sound effect of echoing distant audience applauding and cheering.)
I’m sorry Ralph, but suddenly, suddenly I find I can see things other people can’t – all I need do is stare, like this, into the distance… and… and… I can view other worlds – lovely calm dreamy landscapes – with frolicking smiling antelopes – pink skies – and iridescent crystal flowing streams… Come, let’s sit for a moment on these soft wayside tufts of grass Charles…’
(Sound effect of dreamy violins and glassy chiming bells.)
Just stop it now Vanessa!… And who the hell is Charles? My name’s supposed to be Ralph in this one!… Come on, shake yourself out of it girl!… God, this shirt collar’s a bit bloody tight, I must have a word with wardrobe before we go to lunch…
Yes dear?…
Have you been eating onions again?… Be an angel, and back off a few inches, would you?…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in celebrities, conversation, cool, drama, dreaming, Film, humour, jobs, Mail Art, postcards, surrealism, theatre, TV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Mail Art Postcard. No. 4551…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    hahaha, Ralph look so annoying!

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Gentleman: Oh Vanessa! I do believe you’ve mistakenly put on my wife’s earrings!
    Vanessa: Well, if you arranged a proper rendezvous these things wouldn’t happen….I’m keeping them none-the-less.

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Well, your highness, keep clipping!

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