So, what kind of bun is that?…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s carefully selected colours are: miserable mauve, boisterous blue, anxious almond, triumphant turquoise, fidgety fawn, rapscallious rose, and that funny pink of the primer showing through where the bike pedal scratched the shed door.

‘So, how did they go?…’
‘What’s that?’
‘Those er, Easter things of yours.’
‘Eh?… Easter things?’
‘Yes, they were something to do with Britain leaving the European Union as I recall.’
‘Yes, your sure-fire money-making scheme.’
‘Ah, my Brexit buns!’
‘Yes, that’s right, I never actually saw, or tried one. Did they sell well?’
‘Only fair…’
‘Oh, sorry to hear that… Tell me…’
‘What was the original idea of them?’
‘Well, you know what so-called Easter buns are like…’
‘Hot cross buns?’
‘That’s right, but they had to change the name of them to Easter buns, Trades Descriptions Act you know…’
‘Yes, you could only call the buggers hot cross buns if they were actually hot at the point of purchase.’
‘Point of purchase?’
‘Never mind. You see, my Brexit buns were quite like hot cross buns, with the same cross on the top of them, but drawn with a couple of extra diagonals…’
‘Aha! Like one of the stars on the EU flag, but with a cross through it?’
‘Exactly! And also the ‘X’ is like voting, the referendum, you see!’
‘I see… that’s very clever.’
‘Yes, it is. But, quite early on I realised my mistake, and I had to quickly adapt and get new wrappers printed…’
‘Oh really? What was wrong?’
‘Well, by producing Brexit buns, I was automatically limiting my possible customers to only one half of the population – the Remainers wouldn’t be touching them with barge poles! No way Jose!’
‘Yes, I had to commission new artwork for wrappers with Euro Buns printed on ’em!’
‘But with still the same buns inside?’
‘Of course – that’s business my friend! The buns would work either way – the Brexiteers would see the ‘Euro star’ being expunged by the ‘X’…’
‘Yes, and the Remainers would see it as one of the familiar stars from the EU flag!’
‘They sold reasonably well over the Easter period…’
‘That’s good!’
‘I suppose so… Later we hired a market research company to do a comprehensive customer satisfaction survey, to look at the…’
‘What, like a referendum?’
‘No! Certainly not!… The results were interesting though.’
‘Eighty percent of the customers didn’t read the wrapper at all, and thought they were buying ordinary hot cross Easter buns – and secondly we found that the sales and popularity of Brexit buns and Euro buns was pretty well equal…’
‘Gosh! What a surprise!…’
‘What about the other twenty percent of customers?’
‘Oh, they did notice the difference between the two products…’
‘Between the wrappers, you mean?’
‘Er, yes, the different wrappers… And we found that half of those people reported being injured in the fights between Brexiteers and Remainers in supermarket confectionery departments.’
‘Oh dear! Bun fights! Yes, I now recall seeing all that on the TV and in the newspapers – Bun fight chaos!…’
‘Yes, we are currently being taken to court over it… But, looking on the bright side, we have been getting new orders, from overseas.’
‘They seem to love them in Slovakia, Hungary, and Poland….’
‘Both versions?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘How very strange…’


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in colours, conversation, design, drama, food, humour, information, money, politics, Rioting, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to So, what kind of bun is that?…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    A country divided over buns! These would sell like crazy in the US, in the “UK tea shops”. teehee

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Oh! Don’t fall off that fence!

  3. David Manley says:

    Might have been best to leave the buns in the oven…though of course that’s rather tricky….

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