Just some short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s giraffe is the one trying on a stylish pair of Bermuda shorts.

Excuses for being late. No. 408.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I couldn’t find my moisturiser anywhere.

A single overheard remark:
‘Bob, do you remember why we had to get rid of Max?…’

I think I’ve got it! It’s the only answer! Brilliant!…
What with global temperature rise, icecaps melting, sea levels going up – more water, less land, more and more people – the obvious solution is for everyone, from now on, to be gay or LGTB! Problem solved! Is that alright with everyone?… Come on, let’s get it organised!…

‘I was going to pre-empt Barry…’
‘Oh yes?…’
‘But then, I couldn’t decide whether to pre-empt him, or just go ahead and empt him straight away.’
‘Does pre-empting generally come before empting?’
‘I suppose it must… What is the difference between pre-empting and empting?
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Hm… Tricky, I think I will pre-empt him first – just to be on the safe side.’
‘Yes, I think that’s your best plan…’

I’ve always had a soft spot for Donna Summer doing I Feel Love – come on, let’s disco round the kitchen! Watch out for that pan of hot steaming offal on the stove though!…
(Click here)

Speaking of offal – how about some spam? Here’s a juicy chunk just landed in my comments box. It seems to be from someone with the unlikely name of Miguelod:
If you need to take away a basin trap, plunge the drain before. This would eliminate many of the water inside the capture and keep you from building a wreck. If you have a twice drain, make sure you leap both sides. Some water may remain the snare: position a bucket below. A lot of people do items to your hair to obtain the type they really want. Regrettably the techniques they frequently use are not best for the general wellness for their your hair.
Well, thank you Miguelod for your most interesting communication. I notice that you omitted the prospect of one’s hair residing in the capture – perhaps you could send me another article covering this point. Otherwise I have thoroughly enjoyed you! Keep writing, I can take any amount of your twaddle.

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Juan Fall-Smoov.

A single overheard remark:
‘John, it was cadence blue initially!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in abstract, brain, composition, conversation, cool, Dulltown, existentialism, giraffe, Hull.UK., humour, information, instruction, music, observations, overheard, reading, serendipity, style, surrealism, thinking, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Just some short, but pithy items…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Bob has a horrible memory! Most notably when it was HIS idea, but he changed his mind later…

  2. Dana Doran says:

    Oh your highness, surely you jest?

  3. Sharon Mann says:

    I’m reading this a day late, and I’m laughing out loud with your name change.

  4. ktz2 says:

    I’ve managed to restrain myself from this but I have to let it out now. . pithy pithy pithy…… hahahhaa

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