Brownlow takes sandwiches along…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s carefully selected adjectives are: robust, hygrometric, subdolous, wankle, lageniform, emmenagogic, and fruity.

‘Damn it Brownlow! Couldn’t you have got us a first class carriage – I’m not used to… to this!’
‘Sorry professor, but this train doesn’t have first class, but at least we have a table between us. And look, the scenery is very nice.’
‘Ha! It’s grey and pouring down with sodding rain!’
‘Sorry about the rain sir… To, er, pass the time, would  you care to see the photos that the museum sent us? I have them here on my tablet.’
‘On your what?… Oh, that thing!’
‘See, the stone slab with encoded inscription isn’t that clear, but when we get there to see it in its…’
‘Did you bring sandwiches?’
‘Yes sir, and I have a flask of your favourite coffee.’
‘That’s smashed avocado on rye toast.’
‘Goodness me!… Brownlow, tell me…’
‘Yes sir?’
‘Why in god’s name are we going to… Where are we going?’
‘Lancashire professor, the object was found in the debris of an ancient fort, just by the river that runs through the area for several kilometres…’
‘A hundred-and-twenty-one Brownlow – the Roman name for the river was Belisama.’
‘Oh really? Look, this round emblem is a bit of a puzzle sir – Dr Mulloid at the local museum says that…’
‘Mulloid? He’s an idiot! What does he know! Also he owes me £50 from 1973! Bounder!…’
‘The stuff inscribed on the slab is quite a puzzle…’
‘Well Brownlow, I am quite familiar with the ancient history of this area – it won’t be a puzzle to me!’
‘Really sir?’
‘Oh, this sandwich isn’t too bad really, I suspect that it’s tied into the famous uprising.’
‘The sandwich?’
‘No, the artefact. A group of rough and ready folk got fed up with serfdom, formed a makeshift amateur force, armed themselves with sticks and spades etc. and stood up to the local landowner and king. This coffee’s not at all bad Brownlow.’
‘Oh good… So?…’
‘Yes, they managed to take over this local king’s castle and held it for quite a long time, hanging on even when it was eventually stormed and destroyed around them.’
‘Gosh sir!’
‘Yes, they had the cheek to design their own flag to fly even over the castle’s remains – and used the king’s own heraldic device on it…’
‘What was the device?’
‘Just a simple disc, look at the photo man! There it is, carved on the stone, but they defaced it by putting random lines across it, as if it had been folded up, and crushed, as a mark of disrespect. Any more of that coffee?’
‘I’m afraid not…’
‘Never mind I’ll have a nip from my hip flask… Look Brownlow – cows!…’
‘Oh yes… So sir, how about a title for our report, I could make a tentative start on it right now if you like.’
‘The title? Oh, just keep it simple, something like, The Ribble Rubble Rebel Rabble’s Wrinkled Royal Roundel.’
‘Gosh sir, what a lot of ‘R’s!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in academia, adjectives, animals, archeology, conversation, history, humour, puzzle, Royalty, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Brownlow takes sandwiches along…

  1. David Manley says:

    That made me chortle!

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