There’s something jolly fishy in that parcel…

But first…
Dulltowm. UK/Europe: Today’s dictionary words are: calumba, nematophore, skyre, lazzarone, wuther and lenocinium. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. You must be fully alert tomorrow as the professor will conduct the lesson speaking only in Ancient Attic Greek.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The pages aren’t white any more, they are a light speckled beige, fading to a true brown at the edges where the sunlight of sixty-three years has penetrated. If you stick your nose very close into the open book, it smells like – an old book…
Yes, it’s my rather battered and defaced cheap junk shop copy of Lion Annual 1956 – here’s a picture of the rather impressive and colourful front and back covers.

Today dear reader, we’ll have a look at a nicely drawn panel on page 3. It’s from another of those stories set in a posh boys’ boarding school. Back in the 1950s you’d never see a story in a book for lads set in an ‘ordinary’ school, where ‘ordinary’ kids went. I suppose the people who wrote these stories, and drew the artwork for stuff like this all went to nice posh schools in their younger days, and of course that’s all they knew.
Goodness me!… No, but really, who would be interested in the lives of lads at a school in a run-down working class area of some godforsaken dirty industrial town hundreds of miles from civilisation! Nothing of interest could possibly happen there!…

This panel is from a story called Guardian of the Secret Chimp by Barry Nelson. I think the plot revolves around a couple of the most popular pupils smuggling a cute and lively chimp into school – drama and hilarity will surely ensue! But who is this, hiding, watching from the bushes in the spacious grounds? Yes, it’s the perennial fly in the ointment ‘Bossy’ Bates!
Whoa!… Just a minute! I see it all now!
This story must depict the childhood of one Boris Johnson, probably soon to be the United Kingdom’s next Prime Minister – whoa! And how the hell could that have come about?
See, it’s him! Bossy Boris, I’m sure it is! Look at that profile, that hair, that look of smug confidence and self-assured stupidity in the face…
I almost feel like scrapping and deleting this post and writing something more optimistic instead…
(Boris)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, art, books, drama, drawing, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, politics, reading, school, story, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to There’s something jolly fishy in that parcel…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    No! Don’t delete Dave. You’ve leaked a state secret here! Bossy Boris indeed. Scram, Boris!
    Now you’re a whistleblower, you might have to be moved to a safe house.

  2. Sharon Mann says:

    Will Boris and Donald be friends?

  3. I think the narcissism of the entitled was so ingrained that it didn’t appeal to them to provide us with stories of our grubby little world. Aspiration chaps, that’s the thing.

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