Oh, those Crush characters!…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s confused film star is Bevin Kacon.

And speaking of names, before you even make a start on your novel you should have a good think about what names to give the characters that will inhabit it. If you come up with some good and memorable ones you don’t have to spend so much time and effort on the plot, and all those adjectives that you have to sprinkle in to try to liven the thing up.
P G Wodehouse was great at making up names: Bertie Wooster, Gussie Fink-Nottle, Oofy Prosser, etc. and when he thought he might use the most ordinary surname, ‘Smith’, he quickly glued a ‘P’ on the front of it – Psmith. And then of course there’s Vladimir Nabokov: Clare Quilty, Humbert Humbert, Vivian Darkbloom, the Vane sisters, Timofey Pnin…
And then there’s… well, there’s Veronica Crush (writer from the glory days of the Hull Surrealist League, now living in New York with tall tree surgeon and heir to a multimillion dollar fortune, Monty Tick) – I’m sure she won’t mind my saying, she isn’t quite in the same league as the two gentlemen mentioned above, but she does come up with some corkers. As you may already know dear reader she thinks up so many that she can’t use them all in her work so she sends a pile of them to me to give away free of charge to any budding writer who is a bit stuck on such things.
Here is the latest batch – as usual she has sneaked just one real name into the list – see if you can spot which one it is. (A link to the solution of this puzzle can be found at the foot of the page.)

Jade Creldtz
Dr Charles Dipthong-Foote
Harry Barry Jarry
Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
Sam Boddy-Else
Lady Prunella Disch
Count Fritz Von Eulenspeigel
Nancy Flaps
Ricky-Joe Corsass
Colonel Ralph C Sumper
Detective Inspector Ron Smetler
Ellie Fantz-Trunx
Sarah-Jane Spotoon RA
Lord Barrelnose of Thannet
Rose Brimming-Sewers
Bonzo Crackles
Lloyd Boyd QC
Martine Knickers
Bradley Waggley
Countess Barleycorn of Shoes.

(Real name)


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, brain, celebrities, creation, history, humour, people, puzzle, religion, style, surrealism, thinking, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Oh, those Crush characters!…

  1. Sharon Mann says:

    Thanks for the real name, I would have never guessed. I was leaning toward Detective Inspector Ron Smetler.

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