Stella moves on to custard creams…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s wrinkled old black and white snapshot is the one of me going over Niagara Falls in a barrel in 1936. See how I’m cheerily waving out of the top as I head on down!
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Landscape Number 93. 2012. Pastel and colour pencil on paper, probably about 24″ x 18″.

‘Good morning David.’
‘Ah, good morning Stella.’
‘How are you today?’
‘I’m very well, thank you, Stella, my dear.’
‘Good, I am very glad to hear it, David.’
‘Oh shut up! Why are you talking like that?’
‘Why?… I am in that sort of mood today, David…’
‘Would you like some nice strong Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea in a big, but chipped mug, and a few ginger nuts to dip in? Would that perhaps shake you out of your rather formal state?’
‘It might. Try me!… What the jumping Moses on a blue raft, is this?…’
‘Pardon?’
‘You heard! Is this another of your ancient drawings?’
On a blue raft?’
‘Yes.’
‘Right ho, but it’s not that old really, at least it is this century.’
Millennium David.’
‘Eh? Oh yes, of course… Look, here’s your tea and G-nuts. Hey! Don’t you dare make a mug ring on my knick-knack shelf!.’
‘Sorry!… Another apocalyptical eco-disaster going on here I suppose, you are fond of doing those David… I like the dribbling capitalist skyscrapers – they look rather like melting candles.’
‘Eh? Oh, so they do! Do you like the foetidness Stella?’
‘No, no, David, the tea is fine!’
‘No, I meant in the drawing, or rather, painting.’
‘It’s not a painting David, it’s a drawing, surely?’
‘No, Stella, works in pastel are called paintings – I see you have quickly finished off the ginger nuts, I have a few custard creams left in the kitchen.’
‘No thank you, I’m good.’
‘Good?…’
‘Yes, I am… I suppose it is a bit foetid, and perhaps squirming, do I see a peeping eye?’
‘I think you do.’
‘Clammy and fecund…’
‘Pardon?’
‘I’ve changed my mind, I think will have a couple of custard creams… Those whitish globular items towards the filthy and congested bottom – might they be newly-mutated living eyes growing in the toxic sludge of mankind’s bubbling industrial effluent?’
‘They might be, Stella… You know, I’ve never seen anyone eat custard creams as quickly as you do my dear.’
‘Thank you, David…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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10 Responses to Stella moves on to custard creams…

  1. Jheron Bash says:

    Oh, I do so like your pastels, Dave. Time to embark on a new series?

  2. Gosh this is lovely and vibrant – a lot going on. It looks like two croco-monsters rising up out of the depths, gasping, salivating mouths gnashing left and right at whatever is unfortunate enough to be in their way. So much fun seeing your work πŸ™‚

  3. Dana Doran says:

    Proper Yorkshire Tea….interesting. And, it is at least 70% tea? I wonder what the other 30% is? No matter, the importance is that it carries the rainforest alliance frog image….does that mean the frogs approve?

  4. David Manley says:

    well these are rather nice…and a good band name too…Dribbling Capitalist Skyscrapers! And I fancy I may once have heard that dodgy folk duo, Clammy & Fecund, somewhere in a small pub in the West Country!

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