Just a few short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s carefully selected adjectives are: bloody, haptotropic, perradial, suaveolent, Heliconian, and choppy.

Excuses for being late. No. 425.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I was polishing my Irish backstop.

A single overheard remark:
‘But what is the level of autonomy Brian?…’

‘I can’t stay long, I have my teacher coming round shortly.’
‘Your teacher? Are you learning something new?’
‘Yes, it’s a short course of punk tuition.’
‘Eh?… No, punk tuition –  we’ve already covered X-Ray Spex and the Plasmatics!’
‘I see… How marvellous…’

An observation:
No, but the thing is, when timing a visit to your favourite café, it’s all very well thinking that it will be nice and quiet in the late afternoon when all the city centre shoppers have started to drift off home – but of course, that is also the time when one of the baristas emerges from back-stage and starts leisurely crashing the tables and chairs around to sweep the floor under them using a loud banging brush, and that clattering metal, opening and shutting dustpan-on-a-stick thing! Doh!…

Hey look! Some spam!…
Yes, here’s a juicy piece just flopped, still moist and flapping, into my comments box – it seems to be from someone called Blancang:
Excellent items from you, man. I have take into account
your stuff prior to and you are simply too fantastic.
I really like what you have obtained right here, really like what you are stating and the best way during which you are saying it.
You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it wise.
I can not wait to read much more from you.
This is a terrific website.
Well. Blancang, I am overwhelmed by your lavish praise, and I wish more of my followers would gush as much as you do – me, I thrive on praise and gushing, they are the things that keep me going. You are correct, I am indeed too fantastic, and the way things are going my fantasticness can only increase, exponentially. Do get in touch again soon, I can take any amount of your blather…

Yes, I’m thinking of changing my name to Les Miserable.

A single overheard remark:
‘Then I thought that it was a fucking thingy-stick!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in abstract, adjectives, brain, cafe, conversation, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, learning, music, observations, overheard, people, politics, serendipity, smiling, spam, surrealism, swearing, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Just a few short, but pithy items…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Oh your highness, this doesn’t happen often, but today, and you should mark this down, I had to inquire of the inter webs exactly what an Irish backstop was and why it would need to be polished! The first thought I had was that perhaps it was some sort of dart board…but then I learned it was all political…ho hum!

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Oh dear Baroness, I’m sorry about that – I foolishly assumed that all the details of this Brexit thing had spread out to all of the colonies by now.

      • Dana Doran says:

        Actually, and don’t spread this around, we had no idea you folks had decided to exit the EU, since the only news we get is about President Trump…it came as a huge surprise! All news somehow circles back to, well…….

      • Dave Whatt says:

        President who?…
        Gosh, I’m so out of touch – should I ask Prince Andrew about this chap?…

  2. Dana Doran says:

    He will probably just tell you there are three things that don’t hang themselves, Christmas lights, drywall and Jeffrey Epstein…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s