Oh no Dave! Not blogging about blogging?…

But first…
Dulltown, UK/Europe: Today’s clever-sounding foreign word is Weltanschauung.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I started this blogging lark I decided that I should try to post something every day – I’m not quite sure why, but it is something creative to do, and I didn’t think it could really do any harm.
It might improve my ability to nail reasonably constructed sentences together, and it also might provide a possible audience for my art and my photography – oh, and to air my pretty cynical world view.
The thing is though, you don’t really know who is looking at your stuff, except for seeing a few generally encouraging comments and ‘likes’ that pop up – oh, and even that pesky spam, which, if it is strange enough, and daft enough, I regularly recycle as witty and pithy surrealist prose.
There is a thing the blogger can click on that shows the ‘stats’ page, which gives you a glimpse of the number of ‘views’ you’ve had each day. The daily figures go up and down quite unpredictably, and looking at them can cheer you up, or make you sigh, and mutter ‘Oh god, I put all this effort in, and no bugger is looking at it – I think I’ll pack it in!’, and  things like that. It’s probably best to take no notice of stats, and just plod on doing what you do in ignorance.
Ah, but the best thing about the ‘stats page’ is that they include a little world map showing where your ‘visitors’ live and move and have their being. (click It’s not often I quote the bible!) The countries where I seem to be most popular are unsurprisingly the UK and the USA – which is logical in that we use reasonably similar versions of the same language.
By the way, just before Christmas, I seemed to be getting quite popular in the US, the stats were encouraging, but then suddenly in the new year those figures slumped. It makes you wonder why – perhaps I’d upset the folk over the pond – was it something I’d said? Did I say something about their fat loopy fascist president? Or, maybe, not realising how religious a lot of Americans are, I might have let my atheism inadvertently show itself.
Of course, some people in the US are pretty, what shall we say, straight-laced? Perhaps it was that post where I included the word ‘fuck’ in it, actually twice as I recall. Maybe that was the last straw – That limey over there in Dulltown UK does seem relatively amusing, in an English sort of way, but I’m not putting up with all this ‘fuck’ business any more!
Actually if this is the case I have probably just lost a few more straight-laced US readers having put a couple more ‘fucks’ in this very post! Damn!…
Oops! They don’t like you saying ‘damn’ either! There goes a few more! Don’t slam the door on the way out, thank you!
So, anyway, my readership seemed to be dwindling – dwindling is a great word, isn’t it? But a couple of days ago I was cheered up when perusing the ‘stats’ – they showed that the previous day I’d had a few ‘visitors’ from the UK, and one or two from the US, but what made me smile was having just one each from: India, Colombia, Netherlands, Thailand, Gibraltar, France, Malaysia, Spain and Myanmar. Who are these people? Whoa! Isn’t that great?…
Here I am sitting here in this rather nondescript place called Dulltown, and people living in these far-flung places all over this jumping green sphere have looked at my things! That makes it all worthwhile!
Thank you world! I love you all!…
Oh, stop it Dave, for god’s sake don’t go all sloppy on us!…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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6 Responses to Oh no Dave! Not blogging about blogging?…

  1. Dana Doran says:

    Hate to disappoint…but, some of your fans may have passed on…and the others? Ah hem…in this very modern technological fucking age, it is possible to “fake” your location…like right now it appears I’m located in the U.S., while I might just be visiting Barcelona, but my iPad will tell you it’s Turkey. Keep blogging anyway, your highness, I understand there are two less people in the world who are permitted to use their royal titles, and we do need our royals! Fondly, The Baroness of Eads

    • Dave Whatt says:

      No, no, I’m sure they all real Baroness! Who’d pretend to be in Myanmar or Columbia? Hell, I don’t care – so long as they keep my numbers up!
      Oh, I think those two are keeping their royal names, but not bothering with that HRH business – why are these nitwits adored so much around the world? Me, I’m embarrassed by the buggers! Bill Mayer had something pithy to say on this recently.

  2. When I proudly told my son I’d had a visitor from China, there was a pause, then the question: “Just the one?”. Had another recently, or it might have been the same one coming back.

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