Dulltown, UK: Today’s dictionary words are: absterge, magister, perradius, Midgard, spondee, urial and etiolate. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Should the professor turn up dressed as, and speaking in the style of, Margaret Thatcher, you should not allow this to distract you from your studies – marks will, as usual, be awarded for spotlessly clean cuffs.
Excuses for being late. No. 437.
I’m sorry I’m late, but someone wanted me to accept their cookies.
A single overheard remark:
‘She was just chatting shit – you all chat shit!…’
In the café yesterday the music coming over the speakers was abruptly cutting in and out every few seconds. We had singers and instruments for maybe ten seconds and then periods of silence of varying durations, and then the music would suddenly burst back in. Had I been the manager of the establishment I would have turned it off altogether, but some person, one of the baristas backstage, turned the volume up instead. I suppose the logic was that the customer who expects music in a café was being short-changed in some way, so the increase in volume was compensating for and aesthetically balancing the intermittent periods of silence – hm, good thinking!
I was heading home on the bus, I was upstairs near the front. As the bus slowed and pulled up at a bus stop I noticed two or three people waiting there. One of them, a short stocky man was standing next to a medium-sized white fridge. I thought, No, no, surely he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to get on a bus with a fridge! I looked down and sure enough he wrapped his arms around it, managed to pick it up and waddled towards the bus door. I then heard a muffled conversation between the driver and the man, which lasted several minutes. Then I heard the doors close, and we moved off. When I went down the stairs to alight, there he was standing with his fridge half blocking the aisle, he had one elbow resting in it, in a rather nonchalant manner.
Hey! How about a nice piece of spam?
Look, let’s try this gelatinous lump that’s flapping around trying to attract attention here in my comments box – it seems to be from someone called Phoebex:
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Soon, I will be changing my name to Dan Saul Fracas.
A single overheard remark:
‘It was under my own roof too! It was disgusting!…’