But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘By the blood of Christ that is in Hayles!…’ Geoffrey Chaucer, 14th century – a phial of Christ’s blood was believed to be preserved in Hayles, Gloucestershire.
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My friend in York sent me a leaflet (flyer) which she had picked up in a trendy, alternative, shop there, you know the sort of place, you can smell the incense ten minutes before you get to the door.
Now, not being a spiritual sort of chap, I’m a devout atheist actually – not a believer in the soul, or any nonsense like that, I found this leaflet most amusing – in fact I thought at first that it might be a rather good spoof… but no, I think they are serious… (The C.L.H)
Here are some extracts from it:
‘Angel Awareness Day’
‘Expand your light with the angels and the higher beings of light.’
‘Two for £88 before May, and then £48 each. Limited places at this venue.’
‘The Angels are gathering to help us all forward on our Golden Ascension Pathway. Today the Angels, together with Diana and Rosemary, will touch, expand and amazingly light up your Aura. You will receive gifts from Archangel Metatron, Sandalphon, and all the Archangels. Mother Mary will give you her cloak of higher love and healing. Metatron will gift you with his Gold and Silver cloak of balance and higher harmony which will magnetise only good things to you. Masters of the Rays are offering special gifts to raise your frequency and transform your life. You will learn to manifest with the Seraphim. And your crown Chakra will be opened by the Unicorns.’
‘The GREAT COSMIC PORTAL IN YORKSHIRE which holds illumination and enlightenment for the world is starting to open and we will be adding OUR energy to enable it to radiate its SPECIAL light assisted by the magical and powerful crystal singing bowls.’
‘Do come and assist us in this Cosmic Service work and receive the wonderful energy of this portal to clarify your 3rd eye and fill you with Christ Light.’
On the back of the leaflet it invites me to sign up to study for my ‘CELESTIAL SACRED SOUND CERTIFICATE Level 1.’ – perhaps it might help me with my guitar playing? – I have noticed those Christians certainly do plenty of enthusiastic strumming!…
Dave Whatt 
It was only on the second reading that I realised that I was in error and you hadn’t missed the connection between the celestial sound certificate and archangel melotron.
Oh Ric, you’ve got to keep your third eye open!…