Monthly Archives: February 2014

So, what are those TV ads trying to tell us?…

Posted on February 28, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about Rupert Murdoch and Tony Blair sharing top place in the International Mad Eyes Competition. Oh, how we chuckled down in our bunkers… >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You are our kind of person – … Continue reading →

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Scrolls, palimpsests, and toffees…

Posted on February 27, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s colours are: red, white, blue, red, white, blue, red, white, blue, red, white, blue, brown. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘Brownlow!… Brownlow!…’ ‘Hello?…’ ‘Brownlow! Is that you?…’ ‘I’m here Professor… in the files cupboard.’ ‘In God’s name man! What … Continue reading →

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You ain’t from round these parts, are you mister?…

Posted on February 26, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather will be composed of grand blue and white moving architecture with transverse grey moth-like aeroplanes flitting about. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Shall we have another pop-up? Yes, let’s get the copy of the junk shop book ‘Cowboys … Continue reading →

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It’s only mud you know…

Posted on February 25, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: sembling-box, outhauler, mantic, fungibles, and diazeuxis. Please have some well-formed sentences which include these words ready for Professor Mouldie after breakfast tomorrow morning. Be warned, he will be wearing his new … Continue reading →

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Mayonnaise and Gravity…

Posted on February 24, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dullown, Europe: Today’s stoat is the one polishing a red Ferrari outside his mews cottage in Chelsea. (S.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I was wondering if my favourite cheap wood shop was open and still in business; the street where it … Continue reading →

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Some smallish titbits…

Posted on February 23, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s selected adjectives are: bumpy, elasticated, fluviatile, odoriferous, and chipper. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No. 199. I’m sorry I’m late, but I mislaid my moustache comb. ‘Oh, you boring bastard! You boring bastard!…’ ‘Oh Dave, … Continue reading →

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Veronica all at sea…

Posted on February 22, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the Royal Family and the mouse trapped in the 18th century walnut escritoire. Oh, how we chortled into our dishcloths down in the kitchen… (W.E.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Veronica Crush, writer from … Continue reading →

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The smell of candy floss and spume…

Posted on February 21, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s colours are: amber, umber, amber, umber, amber, umber, amber, umber, russet… >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Ho!… Here’s another scanned 35mm negative from my days of doing traditional film and darkroom black and white photography. I think it was … Continue reading →

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Tea with His Holiness…

Posted on February 20, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s heraldic term is ‘pageant helmet’. A helmet with horizontal bars across the face. (Pageant helmet) I used to have a very nice pageant helmet, but it was stolen a few years ago from the cloakroom … Continue reading →

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Overheard and misheard snatches of cafe conversation…

Posted on February 19, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s porcupine is the one sunning himself on the deck of his yacht. (P.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘Red, black, and white!’ ‘A bullet proof roof?’ ‘Coyzee nowzee?’ ‘Whoo!…’ ‘A doing tonight…’ ‘It’s a caffeine don’t…’ ‘A colonial juice … Continue reading →

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Cheeky sugar sparrows etc…

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s English town that sounds like an insult is Bodmin. (B.) ‘Look at that bloke over there in the big woolly hat, he looks a right bodmin!…’ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I was in Boots the Chemists yesterday morning … Continue reading →

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Oh, not another picture of a sunset Dave…

Posted on February 17, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: lissotrichous, liripoop, lipogrammatism, lither, livraison, and bunyip. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing in the morning. The writer of the … Continue reading →

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Little pithy items…

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s dictionary word is ‘slippery’: like a slipper. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No. 198. I’m sorry I’m late, but I had a fundamental problem with dark matter. An observation: Today town was full of old … Continue reading →

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Howdy pardner…

Posted on February 14, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to take a rag and wipe it clean along its rims, and then place the fish bones at angles to the central hexagonal prism ready for the pouring ceremony. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I don’t have … Continue reading →

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Hm… I think I need my 3rd eye clarifying…

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘By the blood of Christ that is in Hayles!…’ Geoffrey Chaucer, 14th century – a phial of Christ’s blood was believed to be preserved in Hayles, Gloucestershire. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My friend in York sent … Continue reading →

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Stella on a fig roll…

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s vulture is the one sitting in the snug with a bottle of Mackeson. (M.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Landscape No. 83. 1998. Pastel and colour pencil on paper, about 28″ x 20″. ‘I can always tell…’ ‘You can … Continue reading →

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Fun with lino…

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s featured piece of classical music is Joseph Haydn’s string quartet No. 69 in F# minor, known as ‘Party Time with Mad Joe’. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hey, this is another of my lino prints… the block is about … Continue reading →

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Onwards and upwards…

Posted on February 10, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s English town that sounds like an insult is Letchworth. (L.) ‘Hey!… How dare you push into the queue like that, you great Letchworth!…’ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘Mummy…’ ‘Yes dear…’ ‘Why do people climb up mountains?’ ‘Nobody knows…’ … Continue reading →

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Overheard and misheard snatches of cafe conversation…

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: fastigiate, percoct, sprue, dunnage, and chape. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences for Professor Mouldie first thing in the morning. Marks will be awarded for clean … Continue reading →

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Tonsorial gender musings…

Posted on February 8, 2014 by Dave Whatt

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about David Cameron, the Bullingdon Club, and the Chancellor, and it’s not funny at all… (B.C.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘So…’ ‘So what?…’ ‘So, unisex hairdressers…’ ‘What about them Dave?’ ‘What do you understand … Continue reading →

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