N2 and NaCl…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s carefully chosen adjectives are: bumbling, filching, ringent, rinthereout, jugal, cringing, and buttered.
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‘Hey…’
‘What?’
‘Did you know that the atmosphere is full of nitrogen?’
‘Oh no! That’s terrible!…’
‘I know…’
‘How the hell did it get there? Are the birds alright? I’ll bet it’s the fault of us humans, always messing with nature… Oh dear, oh dear…
‘Yes, nitrogen… it’s all over the place.’
‘Can’t we get rid of it, suck it up or something?’
‘No.’
‘How did you find out? I didn’t see it in the papers.’
‘I think the powers-that-be are deliberately keeping it hushed up.’
‘I’m not surprised… Is it poisonous?’
‘I don’t think so, but it can’t be doing us any good, breathing it in all day and night… Nite-ro-gen…’
‘Hm, I expect that’s right. So how did you find out about it?’
‘I heard someone talking on the bus.’
‘Hm, on the bus… Did you overhear anything else?’
‘Well, as a matter of fact…’
‘Oh no! What?…’
‘Sodium chloride.’
‘Oh god no!’
‘Yes, apparently the oceans are packed full of the stuff.’
‘No!… It’s just one damn thing after another!’
‘Indeed it is!’
‘So, this here sodium chloride, it sounds really nasty stuff. Is it affecting all the fish then?’
‘Well that’s the funny thing, they don’t seem to mind it… yet…’
‘Hm… sodium, and chloride… that sounds really dangerous. I expect they used that back in World War I.’
‘They did.’
‘I knew it!… The bastards! What did they do with it?’
‘They sprinkled it on their fish and chips – and to this day they’re probably still doing that!…’
‘No!…’
‘Yes! That’s what the woman on the bus was saying.’
‘This is appalling!’
‘I know.’
‘Which bus was it?…’
‘Which bus?…’
‘Yes.’
‘It was the one that stops to pick up at the abattoir.’
‘The 14A?’
‘That’s it.’
‘This lady…’
‘Yes?’
‘Was she bloody and tired after a long shift?’
‘As a matter of fact she was.’
‘Hm… but this nitrogen, and this sodium whatever-it-is – she should know about such things, shouldn’t she?’
‘I think so, those slaughterers do keep their fingers on the pulse of what’s going on you know.’
‘I didn’t know that.’
‘Oh yes, she must be privy to information that the powers-that-be are keeping from people like me and you.’
‘Well, I’m surprised that she was blabbing about it, for all to hear, on the crowded number 14 bus!’
‘Hm… How did you know the bus was crowded?’
‘Just guessing…’
‘Ah, right… I reckon it’s something someone is up to – someone, some clandestine group perhaps, who don’t like birds… or fish… for some reason…’
‘Has to be…’
‘Bastards!…’
‘Indeed, bastards!…’
‘Me, I’ll never eat fish and chips ever again…’
‘Me neither… Bastards!…’